The Single Woman’s Dash of Sass: Learn to Be Alone

Quotes of the Day:

“Sometimes it takes aloneness to learn that anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.” ~David Whyte

“There’s an awful lot you learn about yourself when you’re alone.” ~Kate Bush

“I restore myself when I’m alone.” ~Marilyn Monroe

The Single Woman Says:

I was recently talking with a girlfriend about her fear of being alone. ..and it wasn’t a unique conversation. Though I, myself, absolutely love and cherish my solitude, I recognize that there are lots of people, and single women in particular, who absolutely hate being alone. I wanted to speak to that today, to encourage anyone out there who is dealing with the fear of being alone. First of all, I would tell you that you’re NOT alone in this feeling. No matter what situation you’re dealing with, you are never alone in it. There is always someone, somewhere, experiencing the same thing as you. I find that to be a very comforting thought. The second thing I would encourage you to ask yourself is: “What scares me most about being alone?” I have found in my own life, when I am avoiding solitude and being alone with my thoughts, it usually means there’s something I am avoiding dealing with. Something I don’t want to face up to. If that is the case with you, I want to encourage you to stop running and face whatever it is head on. After all, the only way to heal FROM it is to deal WITH it. And sometimes the only way OVER it is THROUGH it!

And finally…I would challenge you to find ways to put yourself in the very situation you are MOST uncomfortable with. Stare down being alone until it no longer scares you. Hang out with solitude. Make friends with aloneness. Don’t back down from it…sit down with it and take your loneliness to dinner! Go see a movie by yourself. Take a blanket and a book to the park and spend some one-on-one time with YOU. Or make a reservation for one at your favorite dinner spot. The bottom line is, and I truly believe this: What you are looking for in others is what you’re MISSING in YOU. You HAVE to complete yourself. And you have to understand that you will never find the person you’re TRULY meant to be with til you show up for YOU. Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness. Genuinely wanting to BE with someone is great. Wanting to be with someone because you’re afraid to be without them is not.

Today: Be your own best friend. Once you make friends with the person in the mirror, once you fall in love with yourself, once you learn you give yourself what you are asking for from others – you will never be lonely again. You will be free to complete yourself…and let a relationship be simply the icing on an already delicious cake. 

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