The Single Woman’s Dash of Sass: Letting Go of Toxic Emotions

Excerpt from “The Single Woman’s Sassy Survival Guide: Letting Go & Moving On”…

THE SINGLE WOMAN SAYS: Refusing to forgive those who walked away from you or hurt you allows people who aren’t even in your life anymore to control you.

Maybe today you’re living with regret. Or anger. Or unforgiveness. Or bitterness. Or unhappiness. Or fear. Or blame. Whether it’s directed at either yourself or someone else – it doesn’t matter. Negative mindsets and toxic emotions will leave you locked in a prison of your own making…and all the while, YOU hold the key!

The time is always NOW to free yourself from the chains of unresolved issues and unforgiven grievances. Continuously clinging to past hurts and wounds and mistakes and expecting your life to be positive and happy is like trying to plant a garden in a garbage can. It just ain’t happening! You can’t talk and think trash and expect everything to come up roses. Isn’t it time to trade the WEEDS from the past for the SEEDS of the future?

So many times in life, we (myself included) are guilty of misplacing the blame on someone else for OUR issues…for OUR unhappiness…for OUR pain. I don’t say that to discount the fact that we are ALL going to face challenges and yes, life is at times, extremely difficult. But the bottom line is this: there comes a point when we have to assume responsibility for our OWN lives and our OWN happiness, and unless we want to keep experiencing more of the same…stop the blame.

No one can make you happy except you…and no one can make you miserable except you. As tempting as it is to blame the person that betrayed you or abandoned you or cheated on you or let you down as the cause for your unhappiness, it is ultimately up to you to decide if you are going to let your peace and joy and hope walk out the door simply because they did.

Perhaps it’s not someone else walking away from you that’s causing you pain – but the fact that you are unable to be there for yourself. For example, maybe you struggle with insecurity. You’ve surrounded yourself with self doubt and self loathing and depression and low self-esteem for so long that letting go of those old familiar faces, as torturous, unforgiving, and relentless as they might be, is scarier than the thought of traveling the same path over and over and over again without ever reaching the destination. Maybe when you were growing up, no one remembered to tell you that you were pretty, or that they loved you, or that you had worth. There are absolutely no circumstances where that is acceptable, and it’s important to remember that’s it not your fault, in any way, shape, or form. You were wronged. You were disempowered. You were the victim.

But guess what? You don’t have to STAY the victim.

At the end of the day, regardless of who did what to you in the past, the only person responsible for your present is YOU. When all is said and done, we ALL go through things in life that if we allowed them to, could destroy us, make us jaded or bitter, or cause us to throw in the towel. However, we CAN make the choice to let tough times polish us instead of demolish us. We CAN take what they meant for bad and turn it into something good.

So WHEN is the right time to let go and move on? NOW! This very moment! Take responsibility for your own life TODAY. It’s empowering. It’s freeing. It’s necessary for becoming who you were born to be. At some point in your life, you may have been victimized…but that doesn’t have to make you a victim, unless you let it. Allow everything you’ve been through to propel you toward everything you’re going to be. Take your power back from the past and the people that hurt you there by choosing to forgive and live. Stop looking for a hero and BECOME one.

Remember: Happiness starts with YOU. Not with your relationship, or your friends, or your job, or anything other than YOU. Not with what’s going on OUTSIDE…but with who you are INSIDE. You are NOT broken simply because your heart is…and your worth did NOT walk away gone simply because they did. Stop giving away your power and realize that YOU alone choose your energy and your attitude and your mindset every day. It’s up to you. You can keep dwelling…or you can start prevailing.

The time is NOW to let go and move on. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Get out there and make it the first day of the BEST of your life.

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