The Single Woman’s Dash of Sass: When to Let Go & Move On From…A Friendship
Excerpt from “The Single Woman’s Sassy Survival Guide: Letting Go & Moving On”…
You’ve been friends since before the dawn of time. If life were a Barbie Dream House, you’d be Barbie and Skipper. You own the “BE FRI” necklace to her “ST ENDS” necklace. Every major event of your entire life is linked to this person, and you hardly have a memory without her in it. As a matter of fact, you even served as her maid of honor.
But lately, it seems as though she’s just not honoring YOU. Instead of celebrating your life’s choices, she belittles them. Instead of encouraging you to do your best, she giggles behind your back when you do your worst. Instead of picking you up when you’re down, she kicks you while you’re down. For whatever reason, somewhere along the way, the friendship went horribly awry…and the two of you seem to be more at home facing one another on a battleground than finding common ground.
It happens as we get older and grow up and change. Friendships we thought would be in our lives forever turn out to have an expiration date. Your lives are on two separate tracks and it seems as though there’s simply no going back. And as much as you love her and cherish the memories you’ve shared together, you know in your heart that the friendship has run its course.
Perhaps your friend is overwhelmingly emotionally needy and draining you of your time and energy. Or maybe she lied to you, betrayed you, or inflicted some other pain upon you. Or maybe your friend is incredibly negative, cynical, and pessimistic, working overtime to rain on your parade because she’s jealous of your sun and tired of her shade. Whatever the case may be – if a friendship brings out the WORST in you rather than the BEST in you, it’s not a friendship that belongs in your life.
You can love them…forgive them…want good things for them…but still move on without them.
I’ve discovered throughout my journey that every time I release a negative presence from my life, two or three positive ones pop up in their place. However, new things can’t enter your life until you make room for them. No matter how fabulous and chic that new dress from Barneys might be, there will be no room for it until you clear out all the old, outgrown, out-of-style ensembles and overall clutter from your closet. Or you’ll cram it in anyway with all the old items, forcing it to become wrinkled and rumpled and worn-looking before you’ve even had a chance to wear it.
My point? Spring clean your life the same way you would your closet. Let go of the old and make room for the new. The friendship had significance and meaning and importance…for a season. And that season has passed. Just like you wouldn’t wear a bikini in the winter or snow boots in the summer, it makes no sense to try to extend a friendship that was only meant to be a season into a lifetime. Make peace with what has been and what will never be again…and in doing so, you usher in WHAT IS YET TO COME. You won’t BELIEVE what life has in store once you release the people who don’t fit you anymore.
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