Dash of Sass: Dating in a Text Message World – What Does it All MEAN?!?
Quote of the Day:
“I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, and so I called him at home, and he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.” ~Drew Barrymore in He’s Just Not That Into You
The Single Woman Says:
It’s come up in conversation among my friends and me a lot lately: How do you take cues from a guy in the age of technology? Is the technology that is meant to make our lives simpler actually making our relationships more complicated? And how do you TRULY tell if a guy is “into” you or not when so many people rely on nothing but text messaging to carry out entire relationships?
We discussed this very hot-button issue in depth at Galentine’s, and all the ladies had their own unique viewpoint on the matter. As for me, my opinions have changed as of late. Old school Mandy would have said firmly and in no uncertain terms that if a guy was REALLY into you, he’d pick up the phone and call. He wouldn’t let texting or tweeting or Facebooking do the talking. But I’ve seen too much evidence to the contrary recently to continue to stick by this dial-up opinion in a high-speed world. Our world is rapidly becoming more and more about receiving information in small portions rather than three-course meals. TV shows are shorter. Attention spans are shorter. News is coming to us as it happens in 140-character blasts rather than having to wait for it to arrive on our doorstep the morning after. Like it or not, we are living in a convenience-driven world, and it has an impact on how people are meeting, dating, even falling in love.
The truth is, I don’t think there is a hard and fast rule when it comes to gauging a guy’s interest level based on calling versus texting. I think the only thing you CAN do is take your cues from those texts. I am a big believer in allowing the guy to be the pursuer, so I would let him take the lead. If you’re always the one initiating contact, I’d say it’s a safe bet he’s just not that into you. Or just not into you ENOUGH. Also look at the frequency and tone of his messages. Is he texting you every day, several times a day? Is he texting just to say hi and checking in to see how your day is going and making an effort to see you in person? If he’s only texting you once a week and then vanishing off the face of the earth when you attempt to text back, then Houston, we have a problem. Or if he is only texting you after 11:00 at night and trying to creep over to your house for a little pillow talk, chances are he’s not interested in the same kind of relationship that you are. If a man genuinely wants to be with you and wants to spend time with you and wants to date you, he won’t pull an Edward Cullen and only come around once the lights are out. Unless his name is R. Patz, ladies, don’t believe him when he says he can’t be seen in the daylight or he’ll turn all sparkly!
At the end of the day, I truly believe if a man is interested in taking things to the next level with you, the texting will eventually translate into face time – and no, not FaceTime – ACTUAL face time. If it doesn’t, you might want to reconsider the “relationship.” I mean, who wants to date their iPhone? You deserve a relationship with an actual person, and Siri doesn’t count. Give it a few weeks of text flirting and talking to see how things evolve, certainly…but after a certain amount of time, if he’s still only pushing buttons to communicate, it might be time to push “End” and walk away.