Getting Uncomfortable in 2014: My God Adventure, Continued.

Jesus“Dear Lord, please remove anything and anyone from my life that isn’t pleasing to you.”

It seemed like a good prayer at the time. I’m not sure WHY it seemed like a good idea at the time, since my friend Anetra gave me the idea and told me that prayer turned her whole world and year upside down when she said it back in 2006. But I’m stubborn and sometimes I have to learn things for myself. (Actually, most times I have to learn things for myself.)

So I fervently prayed that prayer during my quiet time one night. And then watched as all hell proceeded to break loose in my life.

Wow, is He ever working on me. All of my big issues: Control. Trust. Impatience. Pride. Even learning how to keep my mouth shut when someone posts a heinous and offensive political ad on Facebook. He’s stretching me and challenging me and showing me things about myself that are not even a little bit pleasant. They’re the opposite of pleasant. They’re what green slimy goo shooting out of the creepy Exorcist girl’s ears on that old scary movie are made of.

Since the new year, God has called me to a new level of trust in Him. In every last area of my life. And I’ve fought Him on it every inch of the way. Yet still, He continues to call me into situations where I have nothing to cling to but Him. No way to control the situation, as my former TV producer and type A control freak self likes to do. All I can do is do all I can do…then completely, entirely, wholly surrender to Him. And is it ever scary, and uncomfortable, and even overwhelming.

But isn’t that what a truly sold out Christian walk is supposed to be? Overwhelming? A little terrifying? A walk on the wild and beautiful and brave side? Where nothing is certain…but everything is possible?

“Get uncomfortable this year, Mandy”…I heard Him whisper into my heart one night about a month ago.

Here I am, God. I’m uncomfortable. And I’m a little afraid. And uncertain. And messy. And imperfect. And a little wrecked.

But I am LIVING. And growing. And changing. And becoming.

On an adventure with the God of the Universe.

And ready for whatever comes next.

See where my God adventure is LITERALLY taking me in March…and how YOU can join in! 

Have you ever been on a “God adventure”? What areas are you being challenged in right now as you stretch and grow in 2014? Sound off in the comments below!

39 Responses to “ Getting Uncomfortable in 2014: My God Adventure, Continued. ”

  1. February 11, 2014

    Mandy, I am not one to leave messages, but it’s like you jumped in my head and wrote most of what I have been dealing with as well. I have been listening to a message by TD Jakes entitled “Blessed Outside Of Your Comfort Zone…..check it out it will bless you. Thank you for your post and I’m with you my sister a little uncomfortable and afraid as I was laid off again this year. I am working on setting up blog and until then posted the same day I was laid off my facebook page “My Sister’s Alabaster Box” empowering women to know their worth. I visit your site regularly and it gives me inspiration. Thank you for sharing your gifts and talents for all women. Keep up the great work and I can’t wait to see where God elevate you in this new season. See you at the top.

    • Mandy Hale
      February 11, 2014

      This is beautiful. Thank you, sweet friend! 🙂

  2. February 11, 2014

    These post have saved my life am still are 🙂

  3. Kelly
    February 11, 2014

    I never dreamed I would get to a point in my life like this….where I would have to rely solely on God just for the desire to get up and keep living….trying to move forward….after losing a husband who divorced me and a son to drugs and jail. My family of 4 fell apart. My other son will be graduating in a year. There is really nothing certain for me at this point in my life except God’s love and that He has a plan. I don’t know if there is anything more painful than losing your family, but He gives me moments of peace that passes understanding. I’m going to trust Him in this because He has shown me that He is all I truly have.

    • Tonie
      February 11, 2014

      Kelly you are not alone in your experience….my story is almost exactly identical accept I only have the one son…but praise God he saw me through a most painful time from the abandonment of my ex husband and God turned my son’s life and got him working and off of drugs…but it was a hurtful frightening few years…but as God tell us He will never leave us nor desert us. And He indeed was faithful and because of Him in my life I am stronger and better than ever….and closer to God than I ever imaged..TRULY COMPLETE IN HIM….WITH DAILY INTIMACY AND ENCOUNTER OF HIS LIVE & PRESENCE. God bless keep and bring you into His Love like never before. Tonie

    • Happiness
      February 11, 2014

      God will never leave you sister, he knew you before you were born he is with you always so do not despair, because he saw these hard days coming before and has given you strength to overcome. Stay blessed Jesus Loves you.

  4. Mary
    February 11, 2014

    I am on a “God adventure” and you have been inside my head and heart. Jesus (God) has broken my heart and filled it with his love at the same time. He directed me to a church service that was meant to be. The sermon, the message, was meant for ME. I have cried enough tears to last a lifetime, but last night I knelt down and prayed, crying for his guidance and help. Then comes the dilemma, let go and move on with an open, loving heart and let God “have his way” w the X who destroyed my life or, with God’s hands, stand tall and be strong and make things “right” and punish? Tough decisions…. Strong sometimes, weak sometimes, and praying a lot for guidance.

  5. Stacie
    February 11, 2014

    Seminary!

  6. February 11, 2014

    OMW, Mandy…this post touched me soo much. I remember praying that same prayer, asking God to remove people in my life that aren’t pleasing to him…and did he do that…NO..Instead, he did the opposite. And there I was trying to control things myself as if I had prayed the prayer to me haha. As a resulf of my actions, I became cranky, too sensitive, argumentative etc , very unusual with me because I have a layed back personality. I found myself going back to the people I’d asked him to remove. In my quiet time, last night there I was, asking for forgiveness feeling like a loser, then he says to me..”are you ready to trust me now? This is my plan child, not yours. I know you’re tettified , don’t worry, Soak yourself in grace & be yourself, u can’t hide from me, I created you”. (get uncomfortable). *We give him all the praise even in our uncertainty*.
    Thankyou for sharing Mandy 🙂

  7. Jayne'
    February 11, 2014

    I’m definitely on a God Adventure. I’m coming out of a relationship and God is showing me how to let go. How to now fall in love with myself. I’m truly leaning and depending on Him during this time because it’s not easy, however I know I will have a beautiful ending…

    • Lynne
      February 15, 2014

      I began my journey of finding the strength to let go of a relationship that tore me apart. I felt so helpless and saw no light at the end of the tunnel I’d been trapped in for the last year and a half. My heart was broken by a man I loved so much that I was obsessive about it. Wanting to still reach out to him even though he had caused my pain. While writing in my journal it suddenly dawned on me: he had not broken my heart, I had broken it. It was my lack of self esteem and my fear of loneliness that had driven me to stay with him until that horrible, inevitable breakup. For the first time in my life I finally understood how to forgive myself. I sat there crying on my own shoulder while also telling myself it was “okay”. I was literally tingling all over as I felt the inner peace take over. The self awareness was so empowering. Since that day, I no longer have the desire to move backwards to that painful, yet oddly comfortable situation. My prayers were answered. I am a new woman now. I love myself, finally, at age 51.

  8. Sierra
    February 11, 2014

    Once on the radio I heard a man talking about prayer and how sometimes we just need to stop asking for what we think God should give us and simply say “God, surprise me.” I got to hear of a couple testimonies from people who have prayed that small prayer and reaped extraordinary things because of it. I was 17 at that time and very scared in spirit, but I took a leap of faith and prayed the prayer. “God, surprise me.” Almost a week went by.. A friend of mine from choir was always in charge of singing the national anthem at the basketball games, something I’ve always dreamed of doing but was far too timid. I would go watch her sing at every game and she was due to sing for an upcoming game when suddenly she lost her voice. Here comes the predictable part.. She asked ME to sing in her place. My first instinct was to object but God repeated the prayer in my head that I had prayed to Him not a week before. I spit out a seemingly confident “Okay” to her request. When it came time to sing I was more nervous than I had ever been in my whole life but I had been practicing every chance I could beforehand. I prayed until the very moment I took the microphone and parted my lips. What happened still shocks me to this day.. I sang the national anthem in front of 300+ people better than I had ever sang it before. I hit every note and remembered every word despite my unfathomable fear of singing in front of others. God surprised me, alright. I’ll never forget His answer to that prayer. Now I am 19 going on 20 and I have done a lot of growing. Surprises are nice but let’s face it, as we get older we must begin shedding old skin. Tonight, after reading this great post, I am ever so seriously committing to this prayer. “Dear Lord, please remove anything or anyone from my life that is not pleasing to You.” I can’t wait to get back to you on what’s to come from this adventure ahead of me. Thank you for your daily inspiration.

  9. Thandeka Sikhosana
    February 11, 2014

    hey Mandy I’ve BEEN on a God journey since last year. The areas being challenged are Trusting,Faithig it and Hope. He has stripped me bare of all my plans,ideas,which is what He tends to do with control freaks,lol. Its for my good so I am more than amped for it but at the same time I am TERRIFIED because not knowing is insanely scaring but knowing that He has me and is always on my side helps me to calm down and just trust Him.

  10. Shervon
    February 11, 2014

    This was so on time! It takes coueage to wanna be tested which exactly what change is. But to be in his will is well worth it!

  11. February 11, 2014

    Mandy,
    I love following you and reading your insights and inspirations. This spoke to my heart in a powerful way. I believe that God will take us to heights we could never imagine on our own, I believe he has so much to give us if we would only turn to him ask and be willing to receive. I also know that when we fail to take him on our journey he sometimes will take us to low points so that we will look up to him once again. Life is meant to be a magical adventure ~ When we take God’s hand nothing is impossible

  12. Tessa
    February 11, 2014

    It seem like this post was written for me, right now I’m looking for a job and it seem like I’m just getting calls back from jobs that don’t want to pay, so all I can do is put it in his hands and hope that he hears my prayers.

  13. Carol
    February 11, 2014

    I am in the middle of a God-Adventure at the moment – I feel like it has lasted years, and is now at the point where I feel everything has been stripped down but Him. I have cried more tears than I know what to do with, my faith falls apart each day which I attempt to put back together each and every day. All I pray each night is that I have enough strength to get through one more day. It is all I have to hope that better days are coming and that God has not forgotten me. Thank you for your wise words, and the inspiration you give me.

  14. Joy
    February 11, 2014

    Thank you. I needed to see this so very much. Deciding it was time to let go of control and give things to God (like I actually had control, ha!) has left me confused and saying “really?” a lot over the last few weeks. I knew God had cleared out my life for a reason, my husband passed away in April of 2011, my mother passed away in September of 2012, and I lost my cat in April of 2013, and I am living alone for the first time in my life at 54 years old. I know this time is about taking care of me for the first time in my life. I am scared, anxious, and excited. I know God has a plan for me and it will be an awesome one, as will yours. I am doing my best to enjoy what is coming at me, but most of the time I feel so alone and isolated, but I know too, there is a purpose in that. I hope the Lord will bless us both with strength and patience. I am looking forward to hearing about all your adventures. God bless you and keep you, you are here for a purpose, and I for one am grateful for you.

  15. Jane
    February 11, 2014

    Thank you so much for this! I was led away from family and friends to serve God in a job that is a blessing but curse at the same time b/c I lack the support and comfort I had at home. I feel like God has forgotten about me at times. I feel like I am the only one on this type of journey, but reading this has reminded me that that is not in fact the case. God’s many blessings to you and your journey! Thank you for the encouragement!

  16. Nikkyvet
    February 11, 2014

    I am also passing through the same situation now. God is really working on me and it’s really helping me to trust Him more. I am now living my life in total surrender to Him, though it’s been difficult, but His grace has been sufficient.

  17. Karen
    February 11, 2014

    I don’t really know where to begin. so I’ll start at October 2012.

    Got flu, relapsed 2x!
    Found out I was sicker than the just the flu… (This would effect my entire life…)

    Fell down stairs, Christmas 2012. I was ok praise God; but bruised.

    Still relapsing, then had to go back to work part time at our business.

    Juggling, physical therapy, insane flu and other nerve illness at same time..
    I really begun digging my fingernails into Christ. I hated it, not only because of the desperation of my grabbing felt to me. Really, I sensed, he could feel every shiver and crack in my soul.

    We were deceived in our business, by trusted employees. That forced me to go back 100% full time, doing things I had zero experience doing.

    Too many nights of fear, anxiety, stress and leading to my general poor health condition manifesting itself almost constantly.

    As hard as, I tried to succeed my husband fought me, sometimes to a degree that was so cruel.

    Which added more stress, nails sinking deeper into the flesh of Christ! ( I call this my absorption phase…I quite frankly wanted to just hide inside the body of Christ just to have a moment if peace)

    By summer of 2013, I was walking day by day, moment by moment with Christ; I learned he was ALL and I mean ALL. I have, I don’t even possess my own bones or this bag of flesh I call my body..

    August 2013, finally I begun to have breakthrough in my health… It had become so overwhelming in my life and left me constantly in fear of the next time it would raise it’s ugly head.. I was averaging around a week or two every eight weeks of good health at the time!! Praise you Yeshua Messiah!!!! For delivering me…
    That alone I am so grateful for!

    He had taken me through almost a year of running a business, I had zero right to run.

    Making payroll, paying bills, mostly on the trust and belief YAHWEH HAS THIS!!!!

    Caution: Do not try this.!!

    I have been an accountants nightmare, but I took the leap of faith, and continue to do so, everyday..

    2013 Christmas Day, my husband and I split. I just couldn’t take it anymore.

    Yeshua, told me to trust him so I tearfully, painfully did. It was awful, and everything inside me wanted to stay.

    It’s amazing how we get so used to living with swine.. We don’t realize Adonai has better prepared for us, so we stay because it’s comfortable.

    I met people who have become friends and amazingly (lol!!) my husband came back granted he still thought he was the decider.. (don’t want to quote Pres. Bush but it fits!)

    However, he was met by a woman whom Yeshua had given a crash course on his vision for her… So, I finally had he opportunity to I choose the terms and set my boundaries for this fledgling relationship..
    Also Abba have me vision to see when I was being manipulated or the same old game was being run on me…
    Abba gave me the strength to cordially and with civility say, if you can’t be the man God has for me, I don’t want you… Ouch!!
    I am a daughter of the most high God!!! I am a queen, royalty!! Wow!!!

    I have finally realized, I don’t need him or a man to be valued, loved, protected or given provision. My Adonai, my Jehovah Jireh has already laid out everything for me. He also laid out the best for me… Himself!

    As much as my husband pressures me to reunite with him, I have set my mind and heart to do so when Abba says I am ready, and he is ready to receive me as his jewel.

    It is just a week from a year of running an insane company, I still have challenges everyday…( Abba, why can’t my powerball numbers hit.? I don’t want the big jackpot, just enough to give to the furthering of your kingdom #1, payoff my accounts payables and mortgages!!! $1 mil would be perfect!! A small prayer thrown in there!! )

    However, Yeshua has been with me, through the illness, tears, pain, joy, laughter and silliness..

    Honestly, would I trade it… It has taught my children Abba is there for them at every junction in life.. My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude, really don’t know were payroll this week is coming from, or payments for my unending stream of bills..
    However, I know this one thing…

    YAHWEH, ADONAI, JEHOVAH JIREH, YESHUA MESSIAH, MY ABBA AND PAPA HAS GOT THIS!!!!

    As long as, I have him I am cool, and I am ok with that!!!!!

  18. Mattie
    February 11, 2014

    ditto to it all.your site is so inspirational to me.I think (for me ) this was one of your BEST post to date. this just resinated in my life like a BIG HUGE GONG.like G-d was saying to me : Im still here ,Im still listining ,I still love you .I still have purpose for you .you just gotta listen.LISTEN,LISTEN.listen to that still small voice.stop tryin to be in control,cause you never will be.like EVER.stop being so hard headed .I have great plans for you. ones you cant even imagine ,if you just LISTEN. BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM G-D .thank you Mandy for Listening.

  19. RevSoya
    February 11, 2014

    Wow…in my life right now being stretched. Recently graduated from Seminary and all I can do is hold on. I have no idea where God is taking me or what God is doing. I do know nothing I have tried has worked, yet. “Though God slay me, yet will I trust God”

  20. Ginger
    February 11, 2014

    21 months ago I prayed “Lord, shine your light into my darkness.” The phrase ‘ask and you shall receive’ comes to mind. Within 12 hours my world began to be attacked, within 4 days my world came CRASHING down around me!! When I prayed that prayer i truly thought God would help me work on my clutter, or something “surface level” I didn’t think about where my DARKNESS exist, very deep and hidden in my secrets. I am on this terrifying, amazing, exciting, humbling, freeing journey with God now! If asked when did I become a christain, i would say when I was 7. If asked when did I meet Jesus, 21 months ago at the age of 37. I know that I know that I know I am walking out the purpose & plan God has created for my life. My prayer today: “Lord, surprise me!! Lord, remove anything & anyone from my life that needs to be removed!!”

  21. Bethy
    February 11, 2014

    Thank you so much for sharing Mandy! You have been a source of inspiration to me. I have read both of your books and can’t wait for your new one! I have also struggled with being uncomfortable, letting go of control and being in the moment. I pray and write a lot and I can definitely see God’s work when I really stay still and just let it be. I always ask him to remove toxic men and people out of my life and he easily does so, allowing them to only stay long enough for a lesson to be learned. I think it’s difficult to have hope when you don’t see things going the way you want but then I think of God’s amazing plan and realize that the gift is not getting what we want at the moment that we want because only he knows when the right time is and when we are ready to receive it. Just wanted to share because I think it’s so valuable for us women to know that we are not alone and that we can rely on each other. Thank you Mandy for all your words of wisdom, stories and journey. You have helped me see life in a more hopeful way 🙂

  22. cosmicStar
    February 11, 2014

    As is said…”Nothing happens by coincidence”.

    I was browsing FB and came across your post. Instantly the words “Getting Uncomfortable” resonated with me. I, too, am uncomfortable – very much so. I can barely breathe.

    But, I know I am being led on a path to bigger and brighter things. Trust – Trust – Trust!

  23. Elie
    February 11, 2014

    Thank you so much Mandy! You are a great inspiration, I have never felt identified and connected to someone that has been through something that I am going through right now. There is a lot happening in my life right now, and sometimes is hard to let God take control over my life. I am always praying so he can help me trust Him and not to let him go. A lot of the mistakes I have done in my life have been because I tried to do it my way, but I ended up crashing in a dead end road. Resulting pain and deception with myself and others. I have always been in relationships since I was 18 (now Im 28). And somehow, I feel I don’t have an identity without a man. I’m trying to break free from that, because I want to be independent and depend in God only for my happiness and love. But I am so scared and afraid (I suffer from anxiety which does not help), I feel Im not going to make it with myself only. Im Mexican, and in my culture by my age you should be having child #3. So the extra pressure does not help. I do feel in prayer God telling me to trust Him, and I will be ok. He wants me to show him my heart just as is to heal it and repair me. Is scary, I’m praying to keep on going and not giving up.

  24. Katrina Rucker
    February 11, 2014

    I know The Lord is working on me. So thank you for inspired me to coming out of my comfort zone.

  25. Monica
    February 11, 2014

    You wrote this for me. At the end of last year I felt like I lost it all. My friends turned their backs on me and I clung to God whole heartedly. I knew then as I know now that God had a plan but I’m still in the mist. I don’t know where I’m going but I know it’s some place amazing because I trust Him. I’m uncomfortable and I’m seeing areas in my life that He wants me to work on. So this VD I’m celebrating the fact that I’m me: a work in progress!

  26. Elisa
    February 11, 2014

    Wow! Of all days to read your blog 🙂 thank you..I will keep this prayer with me everyday. I am 32, recent divorced mother of 3kids..and had to move back in with my parents..there are days where I feel like I am going to lose it, I question myself all the time mostly about being the perfect mom for my kids..yes I’m messy, a little wrecked..but HE has come thru and continues too..Thank you again!

  27. Jules J
    February 12, 2014

    Ever since I’ve subscribed to your website your quotes and other women’s experiences have been inspiring, mitivating and comforting. I repost a lot of them so other women can get the same pleasure I get when I read them. Every time I go on Facebook I get excited when I see your statuses. I’ve learned this year to pray a lot. I’ve been in dark places and the only person to help is God. Prayer is both strong and powerful.. It’s answered not when you ask but when it most needed. Thanks for that push to help me to believe in the power of prayer..

  28. Vanessa G
    February 19, 2014

    OMG! I prayed this prayer last year April and within 2 weeks ended a 2 1/2 year relationship that had me so spiritually drained. I did not know if i was coming or going but I knew I had to change something or I would not last! Talk about being uncomfortable, I got married when I was 19 and that lasted for 17 years and within 2 months of being seperated i was back in a relationship. So since the break up last May I have been single and experiencing many ups and downs, learning new things about myself that I never knew!! At first I was horrified of being ALONE, but now I am in such a wonderful place and actually enjoy being single and spending time with myself and leaning on The Almighty!! Thank you for the wonderful post..

  29. Amanda
    February 23, 2014

    Wow! Everything happens for a reason. I prayed this prayer a month ago. Literally, the man I was in a relationship with disappeared from life. No calls nothing and we were serious. But, at the same time I knew he was not right for me. My best friend I have heard from in weeks. My other friends seem to all be busy with their lives. I’m a single mom. I’m so hurt and lonely right now and so incredibly uncomfortable. This is a very hard place to be in and sometimes I don’t think I can find my way out. All I can do it pray daily for the strength to make it. It’s a true journey….

  30. Jamie
    February 24, 2014

    How can you put your feelings out here like this? How can you share you innermost feelings with the public this way? It baffles me, but at the same time I completely admire it. I have had a whirlwind and very exhausting couple of months. I literally feel like I have battled with myself and in turn battled with God. I have FINALLY come to the conclusion….that I have to have Him in my life. Not just the part time way I have had Him all these years. But completely. One of the parts of me that I let go when I entered a relationship many moons ago…was the openness I had with people around me. I’m one of those types of people that gets strangers to basically tell them their life story. All the time it would happen to me…and I found I was getting annoyed by it. So I began closing parts of myself off. Shutting down and not being open about the messiness of my life and not caring about the messiness of others’ lives. This relationship that I put myself in…really made me lose a very special part of myself. So now those closest to me…when I do share and give advice..they are like tell the world! Get it out there! So, gradually I’m getting my trust back. I call it the year of reclaiming “My Happy”. Because I was most happy in my soul when I was that way and it had nothing to do with a man or a job or any circumstance. I just loved and completely believed in love and people. It was naive, but I think we all need childlike wonder again. So I say all of that to say….I understand this post. Really truly turning it over to Him is the scariest most challenging thing you can do. Because you have to deal with the good bad and all of the ugly about yourself. So thank you Mandy for being open. Thank you.

    I stalk what you read by the way…. 🙂 Currently reading Everything.

  31. March 7, 2014

    I usually don’t know how people do this and sit and wonder how they accomplish it. I’ve gone from one website to another tonight reading different things that you have wrote and find myself encouraged and identifying similar areas in my life. I find that God is calling me to a higher level of trust, higher level of self, career placement, and higher level of living life. Clinging to Him comes to mind and makes me feel TERRIFIED. He wants me to know Him more, Become the person He created me to be in my life, as a woman, and in my career and someone who is a type A and someone who has somewhat played it safe finds that to be terrifying yet encouraging knowing that someone else is going through it and I’m not alone. So, this is my public declaration to meet those things head on, to accomplish those things daily and complete them by the end of the year, and to arrive in a new place this year different from the past. As my pastor said “This year, Im going to launch myself into the deep.” Lord help me and guide me and let me be brave enough to meet and accomplish those tasks head on not shrinking back in sight of fear. As someone once told me F.E.A.R is False Evidence Appearing Real….So I want to be a woman God can lead. I always thought that, I always prayed that, and this year God is helping me to become that and as you said I was hard headed and now my world is being turned upside down but thank God for this terrifying and great experience and I will accomplish it because of that whole thing….All things are possible through Christ Jesus.

  32. Ngoni
    March 23, 2014

    Surrendering is what I am working on right now. Looking towards Him and letting go of the hurt and pain.

  33. Ashley
    June 26, 2014

    I have totally been looking for some sort of story like mine. Thank you for sharing! God has been doing similar things in my life. I prayed that we would become closer and kept praying the words from the Hillsong United song called, “Oceans”. The words are: “Father lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be maid stronger in the presence of my savior.” Ugh. WHY did I pray that prayer? Its nice when your praying it but when you actually have to do the work…man. I am terrified. He is really taking me deeper. He has pressed it upon my heart to constantly do things that I don’t want to do. Pushing me deeper in our relationship to the point of praying for people ALL THE TIME. I cant go one minute without the Holy Spirit on me about something or someone. Its exhausting. But its basically what I asked for. I am using muscles that I have never had to use. Praise God I will get used to this because there is on going back or turning around. He is the ONLY way.

  34. July 29, 2014

    Reading this I find it all very interesting. In 2013 I came home from work and found that my husband had taken his own life by putting a shotgun in his mouth. I have been a Christian since I was twenty and have thought so many times “God why would you let me see something like this?” I struggle most days and still after all this time I cry. My husband fought depression and had some serious physical issues but never for one moment did I ever think he would kill himself. Now for the really hard part….His family blames what he did on me. I have discontinued all contact with them because of it . It is so painful to know that they could ever think something like this. I realize that they are suffering as well. It is something very hard to deal with. They don’t seem to notice that I was a victim of seeing my life changed forever. I loved my husband and he was my life. Most folks know if they are going to lose someone to death because of sickness. There aren’t any Christian Books out there that I can find that actually speak on a topic of this nature. With all that said I would like to say this: God met me in my darkest hour, in the raging storm of my life. He has blessed me over and over with things I could have never done on my own. I am so thankful for all that he has done. Now to work through the rest of this is my challenge and it is no picnic. I read somewhere that ” grief is like the ocean waves……you never know when it will hit you”. I have found this to be true. I know this is not a prayer site but pray for this girl that whatever God chooses for me that I will get pass all of this. It is a journey that I thought I would never be on…

    Thank you
    Joanne

  35. ijeoma
    July 31, 2014

    I used to think ppl had no idea wat am going through, but now I

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to Blog
* = required field