Dash of Sass: 40 Days to Feeling Good

BraveI’ve realized over these past few weeks (as I’ve been dealing with some challenges) that I’m not very nice to myself. I am kind to others, supportive of others, encouraging to others…but when it comes to myself, I can be really harsh and unforgiving and completely lacking in grace. Examples of negative self talk:

“You look terrible today.”
“You’re so weak. Why does something so stupid bother you?”
“You’re never going to be normal and happy, like everyone else.”
“You’re not where you should be at this age. Why are you so behind the curve?” (Etc etc etc)

I’m sure a lot of you can relate to this type of negative self-talk. As it hit me how mean I can be to myself, it made me really sad…because if a friend came to me who was struggling or in need of advice or support, I would never talk to her the way I talk to myself. About a week ago a dear friend, Caroline, and I decided that we would start working together to defeat our negative self-talk and be more positive in our thoughts, words, and attitudes….and we would hold each other accountable on this journey. Every day we check in with each other with an encouraging quote or verse, or even just a “Day 5! ” (our goal is to do this for 40 days.) And even though we mostly communicate via text, it has been so helpful and so encouraging for me to have this “Buddy System” in place. I encourage you find a friend and partner with them in the same way on this “40 Days to Feeling Good” project 🙂 It will change not only the way you view your life…it will also change the way you view yourself and talk to yourself. Everything we feel, are, do, and become starts in our minds first…so it is VITAL to keep that sacred space positive and nurturing and hopeful and loving. You can even consider me that friend, if you wish. Welcome to Day 1! 

34 Responses to “ Dash of Sass: 40 Days to Feeling Good ”

  1. Allison
    April 17, 2015

    Thank you for this Mandy! I’ve been struggling so much with negative self talk, low self esteem & comparing myself to others. I can’t wait to follow this journey. You are truly amazing! May I consider you that friend?

  2. Allison
    April 17, 2015

    thank you so much for this Mandy! I have been struggling a lot lately with negative self talk, self-esteem, and comparing myself to others. I can’t wait to begin following this journey! What you do to try and help others, is truly amazing and I admire that so much! May I consider you that friend as you mentioned in the bottom of your post?

  3. Chery Wilson
    April 17, 2015

    Thank you for this and all of your work and support.

  4. April 17, 2015

    Yes, yes, yes!!!

    The sooner we accept our fabulousness the sooner we can take over the world!!!

    Muuuuahhhh!!

  5. chiky
    April 17, 2015

    Thankyou mandy I needed to hear this coz the past few months av been a bit too negative about myself.. 🙂

  6. Suzanne
    April 17, 2015

    Sounds like a great idea! I’m definitely my own worst critic!

  7. Esther
    April 17, 2015

    Of all the things I saw on twitter today, this jumped out at me and for good reason. I am the Queen of negative self-talk so THANK YOU! I’m incredibly hard on myself and if only I could be the same way when talking positive. Here’s to day 1 of 40. I know others have asked, but may I also consider you that friend I can connect with through this?

    • Mandy Hale
      April 18, 2015

      Of course! 🙂 xo, Mandy

  8. Toya
    April 17, 2015

    This is a great idea but sadly I don’t have a friend which I can share it with

    • Mandy Hale
      April 18, 2015

      I’ll be your friend! Feel free to comment here anytime about your day and stay tuned to my Instagram/Twitter/Facebook/blog for inspirational reminders! 🙂 xo, Mandy

  9. April 17, 2015

    Thank you for the enlightenment!

  10. April 17, 2015

    I agree, but how do you change bad habits? Any tips?

  11. OnKay
    April 18, 2015

    Thank you so much. I consider you that friend.

  12. Sushiila
    April 18, 2015

    This reflects me. I have been feeling like a complete loser amongst successful siblings. I have achieved things that’s under my caliber yet get pulled into a lot of comparison which has caused me exactly what reflects in this column. I will no more bend! I am unique, am what I am!!

  13. April 18, 2015

    I deal with this on a daily basis and it is really hard for me to change that, but I’m working on it. This blog post was very encouraging for me today. Thank you for being willing to share your own struggles so we can know we are not alone.

    • Mandy Hale
      April 18, 2015

      Praying for both of us, Maran! xoxo, Mandy

  14. Lisa
    April 18, 2015

    This instantly made me cry because I have felt so alone in this struggle with low self-esteem and negative thoughts that I am exhausted and just want to feel better. I want to join this journey.

  15. tijuana
    April 20, 2015

    I would like to join the journey.

  16. Violinroses
    April 21, 2015

    I struggle every day with this feeling of being “under the curve”. A negative talk can completly turn my mind into a very dark place. I try to see things on the bright side. Every day I tell myself about all progress I made in my life but it never sound like it’s enough to me. I’m starting to be very hard to please. It’s like myself and others are never doing enough. So myself and other people around disappoint me quite often. Instead of being happy because my new relationship is doing fine I’ll be like “look at all those girls you were at the university with, they have this degree you never passed and now they get married while your boyfriend doesn’t even want your relation ship to be official after 6 months! “

  17. Violinroses
    April 21, 2015

    To continue with my previous post, I really hope you’ll be able to write more about this problem because I think it’s a huge one and it can really make life painful. I think there’re some fears behind, like the time passing by or the fear of being alone and abandoned. Anyway, thank you for the help you’ve provided to me all along these last few years. You’re still helping me every day on my inner work of accepting who I am and the life I have. Thank you.

  18. Wanda
    April 23, 2015

    this is truly awesome and I want to be part of this.! Will you be my friend on this please!

    We are awesome ladies!

  19. Gold_Loveee
    April 26, 2015

    right on time. I want to join and find a buddy.

  20. Shon
    May 2, 2015

    I love your blog….it’s been helping me get through tough times. I am working on being more a positive person and accepting god’s plan over my life. Thank u for being such an inspiration….

  21. Shon
    May 2, 2015

    I love your blog….it’s been helping me get through tough times. I am working on being more a positive person and accepting god’s plan over my life. Thank u for being such an inspiration….

  22. Torreka
    May 5, 2015

    Thank you for this post, I thought I was alone in this struggle. I often have to remind myself to enforce positive affirmations on a daily bases. Thanks again.

  23. CM
    May 12, 2015

    I’ve just subscribed to this blog and am already getting encouraged. Is it too late for me to participate in the 40 days of feeling good.

    • Mandy Hale
      May 13, 2015

      Not at all! Jump right in! 🙂

  24. Lacey
    May 13, 2015

    I’m so glad I ran across this today. I didn’t realize until reading it that I’ve been trash talking myself so badly for the past few weeks, no wonder I’ve been in such a funk! No more!

  25. Tiffany
    May 28, 2015

    This is so me. I been like this since the beginning of April.

  26. June 9, 2015

    What a wonderful way to hold yourself accountable. I ma definitely going to do this with a friend. Thank you Mandy for such a great idea to boost my self confidence.

  27. Amy T
    July 1, 2015

    Love my friend Susan who has helped me in so many ways and has asked me to be her partner for 40 days……..and also introduced me to Mandy’s published works– courageous, strong and supportive. Let’s go girls!!!!!!!! I’m on board!!!!

  28. Angie
    July 13, 2015

    I am just now coming across this, would anyone like to be my friend for the next several days to do this? I think this is awesome.

  29. Loreal
    December 1, 2015

    Great blog. This has helped me to realize that I sometimes am hard on myself as well. I think the 40 days to feeling good is a good idea as well as having a friend you can do this with.

  30. Gracie
    July 15, 2016

    Thank you and yes Welcome to Day1!

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