Single > Settling
Today I had one of those experiences that reminded me of just how much being single can sometimes feel like a series of poop emojis. (No, it’s not chocolate ice cream, people. It’s poop. Albeit, smiling poop.)
I stepped out to take out the garbage and for some reason, twisted the lock on my doorknob as I headed out, so when I got back to my apartment to let myself back in, I was greeted by a great, big, locked door. Which might night be such a big deal if it wasn’t one of those days that I’ve been running crazy in a t-shirt, cut-off sweatpants, glasses, no makeup, and crazy hair. And now, no apartment and no keys and no phone. (Thank God I had the wherewithal to actually put on a bra today. Don’t judge me. I work from home).
So…anyway…there I was, peering mournfully inside my window at my two cats, who were staring back at me with bored expressions. Like, they had absolutely zero time for my shenanigans. Thankfully I was able to flag down one of my neighbors at the mailboxes and he kindly lent me his phone to call my apartment office. I should insert here that it was a flip phone and I (true story) had actually forgotten how to operate a flip phone so he had to give me a quick tutorial. Once I got the lady at my apartment office on the phone, she gave me an intense five-minute sermon about how “letting residents back into their apartments was not a service they provided.” She even referred to me as “young lady” in a rather harsh tone…which I actually didn’t mind so much, because it made me feel girlish and youthful to be called “young lady” (LOL!) After her disconnecting the call to ask The Powers That Be if they could help me, calling me back to impart another ten-minute sermon about how I could come pick up a key but she was going to have to work past her cutoff time of 5:00 in order for me to do so, and me making a quick phone call to my dad to hitch a ride to my apartment office (which is actually across town from my actual apartments because what would be the logic in an office located at the ACTUAL apartments), I was finally on my way to pick up the new key and get back to regularly scheduled programming. And my poor dad once again had to dust off his white horse and come save the day.
My point to this long, drawn-out story is this: I need a husband, y’all. I need a partner to annoy with my dingy mishaps and call when I’m in need and to gallop in and save the day when Comcast tries to get me to agree to sign over my firstborn child in order to get cable or when I go in for an oil change and the guy tells me I need to have every part on my car replaced or when the lady at the apartment office yells at me for locking myself out of my apartment. I can handle these things myself, certainly…but I’m tired of handling them myself. I want a helpmate. A partner in crime. My PERSON.
But he’s not here yet. And so, for now, at least…I will balance all the many plates of single life with my own two hands and I will take care of business myself and when I’m really, really stuck I will call my dad to come bail me out because that’s what dads are for and I’m blessed to have an extra amazing one.
For now…I will do life alone. And that makes me sad sometimes. And it’s challenging sometimes. And it’s scary sometimes. And it’s lonely sometimes.
But you know what else is lonely? Even lonelier than standing outside your own apartment willing the door to magically unlock itself as your cats stare at you disdainfully from the other side of the glass?
Being with the wrong person.
You know what else is scary?
Settling for the wrong person out of fear, before the right person had a chance to come along.
And you know what else is challenging?
Trying to navigate a marriage with someone who wasn’t a choice, but a lack of options.
I might be alone, and you might be alone…BUT AT LEAST WE ARE NOT WITH THE WRONG PERSON.
“Better alone than badly accompanied.” ~Candace Bushnell (creator of Sex & the City)
We live in a culture of settling. Of fast-food love. Of convenience. Of instant gratification. Of people who are so terrified of being alone that they treat relationships like life preservers and then wonder why they keep sinking. And you know what sets us apart, my fierce, fabulous friends? Our refusal to settle. Our willingness to face the unknowns and the uncertainties of
single life in order to wait for the real thing instead of giving in and compromising for half-baked “love.” Standing boldly in our singleness and not apologizing for it, even when the world looks at us as disdainfully as my cats did today for our life choices.
So, yes, my friends…even in the midst of my most hectic days, I am reminded that Single is indeed > Settling.
I think tangible reminders are important too, though…so once a month I treat myself to Singles Swag, my very favorite way to celebrate my singleness. Pictured here are just a few of my favorite items from recent boxes. From books to soaps to jewelry to makeup, each monthly box is packed with 6-8 full-sized and super awesome items curated just for the single and fabulous woman. And they have free shipping anywhere in the U.S.! AND I just happen to have a special discount for my ladies who sign up before the end of the month. Simply go to www.SinglesSwag.com to subscribe now (and receive your first box in March) and use coupon code MANDYHALE at checkout for 15% off your order!
Comment below with your own reasons why you think Single > Settling…