Ten Ways to Follow Your Heart & Date Smart
Dating in the year 2016 can feel a bit like the Hunger Games. Can I get an AMEN? Dodging the players, avoiding the cheaters, and shaking the creepers all while trying to decide whether to swipe right or left can be exhausting. If you’re thisclose to deleting dating all together, I want to encourage you with a few tips from my friends at Undolus.
I first introduced you to Undolus last month, but to refresh your memory: It’s basically your new best friend. Friends, actually, because the platform was created by two sassy sisters who want to help women do their homework. Basically, you visit the website and enter your crush/date/romantic interest’s name. Undolus does a background check and analyzes the results, then combines that info with reviews from other women who have dated your potential boo and voila! Up pops his Datability Score, so you can make an informed decision about proceeding with the relationship. Easy as that. The coolest thing is, Undolus doesn’t allow personal attacks or man-bashing. Women’s reviews are based upon predetermined questions designed to reveal certain character traits and are scored accordingly.
The ladies of Undolus are all about empowering women and want you guys to have the confidence to be in control of your dating experiences. You might be thinking to yourself, how do I get there? How can I be in control? Don’t men have all the power? Of course not!
Every woman CAN find a man who is worthy by choosing wisely and doing a little homework. Set goals. Set boundaries. Don’t be afraid to say no. Talk to friends. If you get a weird feeling about the situation, it probably is weird! Trust your intuition. There is no foolproof method to finding the right person, but to help in your journey, here’s a few tips and tools from Undolus to help you date smart while still following your heart:
- For starters, you are a strong, successful, smart, beautiful woman. Don’t downplay these qualities for any man! He should be able to sense your confidence by the way you carry yourself. As you know, this comes from within, so do what you’ve got to do to present your best self.
- And while you’re at it…NEVER make self-deprecating jokes. They aren’t funny and they give the impression “she doesn’t respect herself, why should I?” Don’t show him how to be critical of you.
- Don’t be negative. Don’t whine. About anything. (We know this is hard, but save that for your mom/sister/girlfriends).
- Your mom was right. Don’t call him first. And don’t call him if he’s being elusive. Yes, we know, this sounds WAY outdated. But trust us. Don’t call him. Would you tell your daughter to call him if she was being ignored? We all know what him not calling means.
- Beware of the guy who is “too busy” to see you. Everybody is busy. Men do exactly what they want to do. If he wants to see you, he will make it happen, instead of making excuses.
- He should understand your time is valuable. He should not think it’s an option to make plans with you last minute (i.e. Friday afternoon at 3:00). That means you’re an afterthought, not his first thought. There are always exceptions to this (“I just got tickets to the concert!”), but for the most part, if he never makes a plan in advance with you, chances are it is because he wasn’t thinking about you or knows you will drop everything to be available at the drop of a hat when he does get around to thinking about you.
- Don’t let him interview you. It’s totally normal (and necessary) in the beginning to have a healthy exchange of questions to get to know each other and determine whether you are compatible, but not to the extent that you feel like the encounter becomes a one-sided screening process and he’s the prospective boss. (“Gee, I hope my answers will get me to the next round!”) Endless interrogations with no plans to meet in person usually equals insecure man who needs to feel superior.
- Have an opinion. They don’t have to be the same as his. Your time together doesn’t have to resemble an episode of CNN Crossfire, but hopefully he will admire the fact that you have knowledge about current issues and that you have a brain. If he does not appreciate the fact that you have a voice or belittles your view, ABORT MISSION.
- Be skeptical of the man who speaks negatively about his ex. Let’s face it, we could all spend hours venting about this topic, but hopefully he is not giving you a window into what happens if you disagree with him. Name-calling, reliving the past, or displaying anger is probably not the sign of a well-adjusted man.
- Trust your instincts. If the way he treats you leaves you feeling insecure and unfulfilled, don’t make excuses for him to yourself. You know what it feels like to be treated as a priority, even if it’s been a while. Hold out for that.
So if you’re doing all these things and you’re still having doubts about your guy, or your POTENTIAL guy…let Undolus help you answer that age old question “Should I stay or should I go?” Everyone needs a little help in the romance department from time to time and there is zero shame in doing your homework! Visit Undolus.com to start your search today…and make sure you use coupon code MANDY for 20% off!
Do you have any tips not on this list that have worked for you? Sound off in the comments below!