Ten Ways to Follow Your Heart & Date Smart

DatingDating in the year 2016 can feel a bit like the Hunger Games. Can I get an AMEN? Dodging the players, avoiding the cheaters, and shaking the creepers all while trying to decide whether to swipe right or left can be exhausting. If you’re thisclose to deleting dating all together, I want to encourage you with a few tips from my friends at Undolus.

I first introduced you to Undolus last month, but to refresh your memory: It’s basically your new best friend. Friends, actually, because the platform was created by two sassy sisters who want to help women do their homework. Basically, you visit the website and enter your crush/date/romantic interest’s name. Undolus does a background check and analyzes the results, then combines that info with reviews from other women who have dated your potential boo and voila! Up pops his Datability Score, so you can make an informed decision about proceeding with the relationship. Easy as that. The coolest thing is, Undolus doesn’t allow personal attacks or man-bashing. Women’s reviews are based upon predetermined questions designed to reveal certain character traits and are scored accordingly.

The ladies of Undolus are all about empowering women and want you guys to have the confidence to be in control of your dating experiences. You might be thinking to yourself, how do I get there? How can I be in control? Don’t men have all the power?  Of course not!

Every woman CAN find a man who is worthy by choosing wisely and doing a little homework.  Set goals. Set boundaries. Don’t be afraid to say no. Talk to friends. If you get a weird feeling about the situation, it probably is weird!  Trust your intuition.  There is no foolproof method to finding the right person, but to help in your journey, here’s a few tips and tools from Undolus to help you date smart while still following your heart:

  1. For starters, you are a strong, successful, smart, beautiful woman. Don’t downplay these qualities for any man! He should be able to sense your confidence by the way you carry yourself.  As you know, this comes from within, so do what you’ve got to do to present your best self.
  1. And while you’re at it…NEVER make self-deprecating jokes. They aren’t funny and they give the impression “she doesn’t respect herself, why should I?”  Don’t show him how to be critical of you.
  1. Don’t be negative. Don’t whine.  About anything.  (We know this is hard, but save that for your mom/sister/girlfriends).
  2. Your mom was right. Don’t call him first.  And don’t call him if he’s being elusive. Yes, we know, this sounds WAY outdated.  But trust us.  Don’t call him.   Would you tell your daughter to call him if she was being ignored? We all know what him not calling means.
  1. Beware of the guy who is “too busy” to see you. Everybody is busy. Men do exactly what they want to do. If he wants to see you, he will make it happen, instead of making excuses.
  1. He should understand your time is valuable. He should not think it’s an option to make plans with you last minute (i.e. Friday afternoon at 3:00).  That means you’re an afterthought, not his first thought.  There are always exceptions to this (“I just got tickets to the concert!”), but for the most part, if he never makes a plan in advance with you, chances are it is because he wasn’t thinking about you or knows you will drop everything to be available at the drop of a hat when he does get around to thinking about you.
  1. Don’t let him interview you. It’s totally normal (and necessary) in the beginning to have a healthy exchange of questions to get to know each other and determine whether you are compatible, but not to the extent that you feel like the encounter becomes a one-sided screening process and he’s the prospective boss.  (“Gee, I hope my answers will get me to the next round!”)  Endless interrogations with no plans to meet in person usually equals insecure man who needs to feel superior.
  1. Have an opinion. They don’t have to be the same as his.  Your time together doesn’t have to resemble an episode of CNN Crossfire, but hopefully he will admire the fact that you have knowledge about current issues and that you have a brain.  If he does not appreciate the fact that you have a voice or belittles your view, ABORT MISSION.
  1. Be skeptical of the man who speaks negatively about his ex. Let’s face it, we could all spend hours venting about this topic, but hopefully he is not giving you a window into what happens if you disagree with him.  Name-calling, reliving the past, or displaying anger is probably not the sign of a well-adjusted man.
  1. Trust your instincts. If the way he treats you leaves you feeling insecure and unfulfilled, don’t make excuses for him to yourself. You know what it feels like to be treated as a priority, even if it’s been a while. Hold out for that.

So if you’re doing all these things and you’re still having doubts about your guy, or your POTENTIAL guy…let Undolus help you answer that age old question “Should I stay or should I go?” Everyone needs a little help in the romance department from time to time and there is zero shame in doing your homework! Visit Undolus.com to start your search today…and make sure you use coupon code MANDY for 20% off!

Do you have any tips not on this list that have worked for you? Sound off in the comments below!

15 Responses to “ Ten Ways to Follow Your Heart & Date Smart ”

  1. August 2, 2016

    Very informative and useful…thanks

  2. August 2, 2016

    I seem to attract the emotionally unavailable

    • Jessica Norris
      August 10, 2016

      I track the ones who don’t care and are more concerned about themselves

  3. Angela Elsworth
    August 3, 2016

    Shame this is not available in the UK

  4. Mikki Dean
    August 3, 2016

    I love the idea of pre-screening. Undolus sounds like a good way to do this. When I began dating my ex husband (married 32 yrs) I asked him to get his ex-wife on the phone. After all she and he had a two-and-a-half-year-old child at the time. She was very honest on what happened in their marriage. She told me she would never want to have him back but that he was a good man and tended to be unfaithful and that was his only drawback and she blamed herself. Me being young and naïve thought that he would never be unfaithful to me and I went through many years of heartbreak until I finally got the strength to let him go. I have 3 beautiful children from that marriage and I can’t regret it however I find myself 35 years older and in a world that is not so kind. I think that having a site like this will help me weed through the crazy. As I seem to attract all kinds of crazy. LOL. Thank you

  5. zanele
    August 3, 2016

    WWanted to check my date but it only gives states and south Africa is not there.

    • zanele
      August 3, 2016

      I meant on undolus.com

  6. Alwina Oyewoleturner
    August 4, 2016

    Thank you for sharing! I’ve heard most of these a number of times and it’s a matter sticking to them. It’s hard because you really want to make it work. Especially when guys aren’t knocking at your door. But you have to stay true to yourself, keep your head up and be patient for the right guy who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

  7. Lilian
    August 14, 2016

    Great tips!!

  8. Rachel
    August 21, 2016

    Thanks for sharing! I’m getting ready to start dating again after a couple years break….. this time I’m going to be smarter about it!

  9. Jackie
    September 27, 2016

    This is a must have for both genders and orientations. With people moving around so much it’s not as easy to figure out who someone is before becoming emotionally attached to the wrong person. Many times if we had hard facts before the emotions took over, we would have made a different choice. I personally prefer to be free and available to someone who is a healthy choice. Getting entangled too soon in the wrong person gets in the way of that. Services like this are a necessity especially when it comes to safety.

  10. April
    September 27, 2016

    Thank you thank you! 🙂 The one about not calling first, needs an addendum…. Do NOT text him first. I kind of broke that one, but we work together and something had come up and I needed to get in contact with him ASAP. He keeps saying call… Umm no. The phone lines go both ways! He’s gonna have to put a little something into this, if there’s an us.

  11. yaa
    October 16, 2016

    This is my first time here and I’m here to stay. Lovely site. Kudos mandy

  12. Mzmm
    October 23, 2016

    Thank you for this great article really solid quality information which will I think help us get into solid quality relationships you rock

  13. Roro
    November 19, 2016

    Thank you!! Thank you!for this superb site.

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