Let’s Get Ready to Bumbllllllllllle!!!

beginningsSoooooo…

As I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago, I recently decided to try a dating app for the first time in my life. I’ve had brushes with online dating over the years, but I’ve never committed to it fully. For example, a few years ago I partnered with a pretty well-known dating site during the release of my first book, The Single Woman. The idea was to try online dating through their platform and write about my experiences, hopefully raising awareness about my book and the dating site in the process. I lasted on this site for all of 24 hours before logging off in a pretty solid state of depression. I was getting hit on by men twice my age, men who were posed in their profile pic with bloody turkey carcasses (and while hunting isn’t my thing, I don’t begrudge other people their hobbies. What I do side-eye is your decision to make your profile picture one in which I can’t distinguish you from roadkill), and men who thought posing in their underwear on a public dating site was a solid life choice. It was a really discouraging experience, and it seemed to hit home all the negative feedback I had heard about online dating.

Fast forward several years to the end of my self-imposed two-and-a-half year dating hiatus. I woke up one day about a month ago and just simply KNEW it was time to get back out there. People always ask me “How do you know when you’re ready to move on?” Well….you just KNOW. I looked around at my life and felt a little like I had been sleepwalking for the past few years. Or at least through the romantic side of life. And honestly, even through the social side of life a little bit. Working from home and being someone who tends to lean toward introversion (although a personality test tells me I’m an extrovert, which I still have trouble buying), can be very isolating. I’m just not out there a lot, pushing past my comfort zone and putting myself out there and meeting new people. So one warm September day, I just knew it was time to try something new.

A few months prior, a couple of different friends of mine who you met in my book, Beautiful Uncertainty (in the chapter called “The Real-Life Breakfast Club”) told me about a newer dating app called Bumble. Since I’ve known these people for literally my entire life, I trusted their opinions and plus, one is a man and one a woman…so I thought it really spoke volumes about the app that both ends of the spectrums were fans. I also heard about a feature that Bumble offers called “Bumble BFF” where it matches you with friends instead of relationships. Since everyone knows how difficult it is to make new friends in your 30’s and beyond, I was super stoked about this concept. I was actually almost more excited to make new friends than to meet guys…LOL! I think it was honestly the BFF feature that really gave me the final push I needed to sign up.

Soooooo…I did.

That was about a month ago, and y’all…my life is drastically different today than it was one month ago.

WHAT?! You might be asking yourself. A dating app changed your life????

And the answer is, quite simply…yes.

I’m out there again. I’m living my life to the fullest again. I remember what it feels like to get butterflies again. I’ve made two awesome friends whose paths I never would have crossed with without this app. I’m taking chances and being vulnerable and working on, albeit slowly, letting down the guard I’ve had up around myself and my heart for so many years now I lost count.

I kissed someone for the first time in two and a half years. Someone kinda amazing. Someone who made my heart beat fast.

And I’ve even experienced my first heartache in two and a half years. (More on that later).

Actually…more on ALL of this later. Because that’s what I’m so excited to share with you. At first I wasn’t sure if I wanted to make this journey of mine a public thing that I invited other people into…but then as the days went on and I started to see what an intense growing and learning process this whole thing has been and is going to be, I knew I couldn’t keep it to myself.

I knew I had to share it with all of you.

Yes, I’m ready for love again. But more than that…I’m ready to LIVE again. I’ve been in such a rut since my heart was shattered two and a half years ago, I couldn’t even see how much I was sheltering and guarding and protecting myself. I shut down…emotionally, physically, even spiritually. And it has definitely impacted my writing. I’ve been uncertain about what to say, what to tweet, what to post. I haven’t felt like I should be out there giving anyone instructions and advice on how to live their lives because I was essentially sitting on the sidelines of mine.

And now I’m back in the game…and it feels AMAZING.

I don’t know if I’ll find love though this process. But I DO know that I’m finding a new version of me…and that is enough for me. More than enough for me. I feel ALIVE again for the first time in years. And all of a sudden I have all these things to write about and share with all of you and IT IS SO EXCITING!!!!

This is Day One of my journey. And I’m planning to bring you along for the entire ride. I want to help dispel any fears you have about online dating/dating apps…share with you the life-changing lessons I’m learning about life and love…tell you about some of the people I’ve encountered…and even help guide you through the process in case you want to begin your own Bumble journey (ladies, let me just tell you…there are some truly quality men on there. And are some of them ever FINNNNNNNNE)

I even want to interview some of you who are already on Bumble or decide to sign up in the hopes of building a community of ladies sharing their experiences. It’s a brave new dating world out there and we need each other to lean on for support and encouragement and advice.

One of the biggest things I’ve learned so far is you truly do have to do something you’ve never done if you want to get something you’ve never gotten. What I want is love, eventually. And community. And new adventures. And new friends. So far I’ve already found three out of the four in just a month. I can hardly wait to see what else is in store.

Oh snaaaaaap! Mandy’s on a dating app!!! 🙂

One month ago I decided to start something new and trust in the magic of beginnings. And it’s been uncomfortable at times, scary at others, and utterly and completely exhilarating.

This is a new chapter for me, and there’s no one I’d ever have along for the journey than all of you. Join me?

To Be Continued… 🙂

 

 

 

 

48 Responses to “ Let’s Get Ready to Bumbllllllllllle!!! ”

  1. Susanna
    October 18, 2016

    I’m newly on Bumble (and Siren), too. I’ve been working with a Tawkify matchmaker off and on since the spring (although it took me until last week to say “I need an intellectual man”, which will hopefully help improve my matches). No stone unturned.

    And yet, I know deep in my heart that this is mostly me doing a soft-shoe, keeping myself distracted until God shows up and shows out. Which He will. Because He always does. And time is only relevant if I let it be.

    Proud of you for taking this leap!

  2. Brenda
    October 18, 2016

    Thank you for bringing hope!

  3. Jaime
    October 18, 2016

    Whooo hooo Mandy! So excited for you and here’s to hoping that I get some much needed inspiration to have some new begginings myself!! Thank you as always for sharing and reminding us we are not alone

  4. Rosa
    October 18, 2016

    That’s amazing, Mandy! After reading “The Single Woman” a few years ago, I was inspired to enjoy the single life while still keeping an open mind and heart in the hopes of meeting that special someone. I ended up joining a dating site myself and this past summer married an awesome man that I met online. So, I thank you for being an amazing inspiration to so many people, and I wish you all the best on this new journey… You just never know how it could all turn out… The beauty of uncertainty 😉 I look forward to reading all about it! 🙂

  5. Brittany Kruse
    October 18, 2016

    This is awesome! Sometimes I feel like the dating apps are frowned upon, so it’s refreshing to see someone like you on them!
    PS- I’ve been on bumble for a while now…
    I’m still single but my story isn’t over. 😉

    Keep doin what you’re doin, Mandy! I’m a huge fan!

  6. Thatgirlsmc
    October 18, 2016

    Awesome….Maybe your journey will encourage me to try. Looking forward to it!!

  7. Melanie
    October 18, 2016

    Wow, good for you! It’s uncanny, I’ve been praying about rejoining the dating world again, too. I haven’t heard of Bumble – will have to look into that. New chapters can be so terrifyingly awesome- moving into a new place tomorrow! Prayers for both of us!

  8. Jaimi
    October 18, 2016

    I signed up too!! It’s worth a try, I’ll take this journey with you!

  9. Jaimi
    October 18, 2016

    I signed up too! Worth a try, I’ll take this journey with you!

  10. Melanie Sutton
    October 18, 2016

    Way to go, Mandy! I just love reading everything you write and I feel really connected to many of the life experiences you’ve been through and I relate to so many. I wish you all the best on your beautiful journey in life…. and I just may join your positive outlook on this new dating app myself!

  11. April
    October 18, 2016

    Oh how wonderful! I’m so happy for you. Here’s to new beginnings, and a fresh life!

  12. Patti
    October 18, 2016

    Congratulations Mandy! I really believe in the meeting first and “date to relate”. I’m an extrovert but maybe we both have had to learn to introvert to be able to survive. I’m still working on that one as others tend to put alot of salt into my old wounds and continue to rub it in at my age and stage in a woman’s life. My family will never understand my dyslexia because they didn’t have that mind set. They are super impatient with me even as an adult. If a dating site does a police background check and also check to see if a man is single (and not in a relationship that is not public knowledge) would probably give women a better chance of a relationship that leads to love and marriage. I will pray for you and your new relationship!!

  13. Celina
    October 18, 2016

    Mandy that is amazing news May the lord be with you through this new journey and stir his wisdom throughout it all. Beginnings are sooo exciting and scary all in one. Sooo happy for you. I pray to find that for me someday. Xoxo!

  14. Kristin
    October 18, 2016

    I love this! I’m in the beginning stages of a divorce but just the thought of dating again scares the crap out of me. It’s been so long! I look forward to reading your journey for when I get to that stage. Thank you for sharing.

  15. Stephanie
    October 18, 2016

    I’m so happy for you! I’ve been following your journey since you’ve been on Twitter and have purchased all your books. Sometimes I swear we’re the same person. 😉 Like you, my heart was broken 2 1/2 yrs ago and I didn’t date for a long time after that. I tried dating sites a few times, mostly because I was working from home, too, and I’m very shy. I found I just became more depressed and started hating guys, because of it. I decided to just let things be. I joined a dating site again this year, in July. I thought I met a great guy, until two weeks ago, he told me his ex came back into his life and he wants to try to work it out with her. I’m now back to square one. I’m definitely going to check this APP out. Thank you for always being you and for the laughter, tears, encourangment, and you may not know this, but also the friedship. I’m not a religious person, but I truly feel like I was led to you by a higher power.

    Your friend,

    Stephanie 🙂

  16. Becky
    October 18, 2016

    All ive found on Bubble are guys who cant hold a conversation (literally a text then ignore you for days ir forever) and guys who want to hook up. Maybe men where live are better. But bumble has brought nothing but stress, frusteration and making me feel more alone than before. Not trying to be a debbie downer but thats the truth.

  17. October 18, 2016

    I’ve tried it too! I blog about it in my blog. 30dateswhynot.wordpress.com. Praying for great experiences for you!

  18. Lindsay
    October 18, 2016

    I love it! Congrats! Can’t wait to hear all about it! I’ve followed your story and in a very similar situation myself! The thought of online dating sounds horrendous and scary.

  19. Natalie
    October 18, 2016

    Congrats on joining a dating site and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. It’s where growth starts.
    I’ve been doing online dating for 6 years now, with limited to no success. I hear success stories all the time, and then I look at myself and feel like a total failure, like something is missing. I hope and pray for success and for you to find what you are looking for in friendships and relationships. God bless and good luck 🙂

  20. Brooke
    October 18, 2016

    So excited for you Mandy!! I really freaking resonated with everything you wrote…especially living on the sidelines of life. I signed up for a dating app once and then cancelled it after two days. I just couldn’t do it. My heart had been broken one too many times. But maybe just maybe I’d reconsider 🙂 wishing you all the best and I’m so glad to hear you’re happy and living life to the fullest!!

  21. Wendy
    October 18, 2016

    Love it!! Inspiring! Totally understand – thank you for sharing

  22. Kristin M
    October 18, 2016

    Hi!! I just want to say that your insta has been completely inspiring and provides the hope and the WORDS I need to get through the days sometimes! I’m on BUMBLE and another dating site as well. I’d love to talk about it because it’s been a nightmare and a blessing all in one. I honestly can’t decide if I love or hate online dating- most days I say “hate it” but I know it’s not true. I’m pretty sure. Lol! BUMBLE has been a MUCH better experience than my other site for so many reasons! Cheers to getting back out there, sister! Many more stomach butterflies to come!

  23. Kara
    October 18, 2016

    I love this! I have the same thoughts about dating sites and I was even more excited about the bumble bff, however, it just seems that most people, male and female, can be lazy when it comes to pursuing new relationships. I lasted on bumble for a wk this time, that’s probably been my longest stint on an app, but I’m proud of myself, and you, for just putting ourselves out there in a new and unfamiliar way!!

  24. Laura
    October 19, 2016

    Thanks for this post! I recently have decided I needed to actually living and signed up to a dating app! Still have moments of ‘oh gosh should I do this’ but unknthis is the encouragement I finally need to just let go and see what happens!
    Thanks again!

  25. Rachel
    October 19, 2016

    Whooooo hooooo!!! I can literally hear the joy in your voice. You’ve made the shift and there is no turning back!! Thank you for sharing and encouraging me to finally give online a try..been thinking about it for months-and you’ve given me that push 🙂

  26. Denise
    October 19, 2016

    Wow…. your story is so amazing….. Have kept up with you throughout your blog and books….. I signed up for Bumble last night….. Why not??? I think I am ready as well. 1.5 years of getting to know ME 🙂 Ready, set, BUMBLE !!~!!! Best to you Mandy !!

  27. Anna
    October 19, 2016

    Awww this app isn’t available in my country. Good luck though Mandy! ☺

  28. kim
    October 19, 2016

    good luck, Mandy. too bad you need to be on FB to be on bumble. .

  29. Deanna
    October 19, 2016

    I’m newly on Bumble and have tried a few other dating sites/apps. I’m still very hesitant. When I first started out I felt like it was something that God has impressed upon my heart…that I was ready for this next step and that He was there with me. Lately I don’t feel like that anymore. With every crude message or heartbreaking rejection I have felt further and further from God. At this point I feel like I need to get back on my feet faith-wise before I try again. Your experiences and your eloquent way with words are always encouraging and I truly appreciate your honesty and the courage with which you so freely give it. Thanks Mandy!

  30. WJB
    October 19, 2016

    Exciting!!! Write on!!!

  31. Laura
    October 19, 2016

    Hi Mandy! I am on Bumble as well and kissed someone for the first time in four years! I allowed myself to be open, but right now I am in the fear space – I’m asking myself why didn’t he text again? Why did I text him multiple times when he didn’t respond? Why can’t I learned that when someone doesn’t respond that means they aren’t for me? It really hurts, and I am so tempted to shut down again.

    I am grateful to go along with you in your journey, because I know that I need to trust that God has my back, and it is a blessing when someone remove themselves from my path, no matter how much I feel like they should be… God knows better .

  32. October 19, 2016

    I’m now morbidly curious, but dating apps and sites haven’t worked for me in the past (what is it about the internet that lets people think it’s a good think to show their inner freak to the world?), but I’m continuing to be optimistic. Something to look into. Good luck!

  33. October 19, 2016

    I have dated with 1 man for 6 years. He finally decided that we will not get married because he doesn’t love enough to get married. I am waiting for a long time and I stopped dating with him. But the problem is that I do not have any emotion with other men. My heart run away and I do not feel anything about love. Sometimes, I think I am unlucky person for having a good family, I accept this situation and my heart will not open for move to new step. However, I conflict in my mind, I am afraid of stay alone forever.
    Do you have any suggestion for me to solve this issue?

  34. Makayla
    October 19, 2016

    Hi Mandy!! This is fantastic! I’m very excited for you and what’s to come. I’ve been a follower so months now and recently just finished all 3 of your books in 2 months… I couldn’t put them Down, they were so good. Thank you! They were just what I needed! After reading your post about how excited you were, I downloaded bumble and made a profile. I’ve only heard about it once but I didn’t Know you can meet new friends…. love that!! Wish your post came out sooner, I’ve been trying to make new friends while on an extended vacation, possibly new career location. But who knows I probably wouldn’t have put myself out there and did some of the things outside of my comfort zone, which I’m so proud of myself for. So everything happens for a reason. I’ve tried other free dating sites, matched and spoke to a few guys but they just seem to have a bad reputation and known for one thing. Thank you thank you for everything you stand for and everything you do. Your words are so powerful and I appreciate them so much!! Good luck on your next journey.

  35. Leslie
    October 19, 2016

    Wow! I need to get out there. It’s so difficult to meet people. Most of my friends are married and have been for many years. It’s be a long time since I have dated. I also miss having friends to do things with that are also single. My married friends make me feel very welcome. I have a wonderful support system. They don’t have the same issues to deal with that a single lady does. I tried one app and was very disappointed. I like the Bumble BFF feature you mentioned. That sounds like a huge plus! I need to get my nerve up. I’m 53 though. Is this an app for younger ladies like yourself?

    • Leslie – many of my over 40 clients use Bumble and are enjoying the results – try it today. Open up your life to meet new people and friends as Mandy has talked about to feel more connected and alive. Please don’t wait another day

  36. October 19, 2016

    I’ve only ever used 1 dating app and while I haven’t used Bumble for dating, I did use the BFF feature and absolutely love it!! Great way to meet friends. I have a love-hate relationship with dating apps, but in deciding to give it a go 6 months ago,I think I’ve found the one!!! 🙂

  37. Ninja
    October 19, 2016

    Bravo, Mandy!

    Growth only happens outside of our comfort zone. Way to step out.

    As a guy (mid 40’s) who is committed to Christ, I am stoked that you will be essentially leading your sisters as you/they travel these new online relational adventures.

    I’ll be praying for everyone one of us giving this dating thing a shot. God wants to give us the desires of our hearts (love/romance), we just gotta put ourselves out there to meet His potential matches.

    Recently divorced after a long marriage and haven’t found anyone that I’ve been particularly interested in online. But, I’m new to this and am not in any rush. =P

    Imma give Bumble a try.

    LET’S DO THIS!!!
    =)

    PS Even though your tribe is made up of Christian Chicks, your writing has made me a better man and child of God. Thanks for good work ~ Ephesians 2:10

  38. Mirenda
    October 19, 2016

    Hi Mandy! I too am on Bumble and heard about it from a girlfriend of mine. I have been really against online dating, but I decided to give it one more try. About a month ago (same time I signed up) I met someone and he’s actually pretty great. So without putting pressure or expectations on anything, I am going to enjoy myself and this time with him and see where things go! Good luck to you and all of us out there looking for love!

  39. Mandy – you said so many vital things in this blog post I just have to comment. As a dating, I’m so thrilled to hear you’ve decided to LIVE again and stop sheltering yourself. Way to go! I tell my clients dating is a journey of self discovery, not just the search for love. I applaud your recognition of how you have to try something you’ve never done if you want to get something you’ve never gotten. So WISE! The very fact that you are loving the journey let’s me know you are on the right path. That alone makes you vastly more attractive and is an indication of wondrous personal growth. Congratulations!

  40. Nancy
    October 21, 2016

    Wow Mandy congratulations to you! Thank you for giving me hope..really needed it today, that post has inspired me!

  41. Kari
    October 21, 2016

    What about when you get on Bumble because your favorite blogger did and you match with an awesome guy and yall talk on the app for 2 solid hours and then your clumsy self accidentally swiped and unmatches you from the guy? Any advice? This is my life.

  42. October 22, 2016

    I will have to check out this ‘BUMBLE’. On-line dating is really hard, but almost all there is now. I’m sorry, but he is not standing in the produce section at the grocery, waiting for me to tell him how to pick the best melon! Good luck with everything!! 🙂

  43. Nikki
    October 22, 2016

    I’ve recently met an amazing man through Bumble as well as one great new friend from the BFF section. It’s been amazing trying something new. Congratulations Mandy on getting back out there. Its a great feeling even through the frogs..there’s some real Princes and Kings out there.

  44. Elizabeth
    October 25, 2016

    Mandy, I downloaded Bumble. I’ve been hesitant about online dating. Really hesitant. But I”ve followed your blog for years, you and I have similar personalities and perspectives, and I trust you. Thank you for inspiring me to try it. Best of luck to us both!

  45. Bridget
    October 25, 2016

    So you have inspired me or rather gave me the encouragement I needed to try online dating. I’m young (24) and not interested in anything seriou,s but I have been single my whole life and want to try getting to know someone. I signed up as well on Bumble today and already have 1 match! I’m excited to see how this online thing goes. I also can’t wait to read along with your Bumble journey.

  46. Curly Sue
    November 14, 2016

    Wow!! It’s like the timing of reading this couldn’t have come across my eyes at a more perfect time!!!! Just last week a friend of mine was introducing me to bumble but I was still hesitant. Just like you I’ve been single for 2 and a half years hesitant to get back out into the dating scene and within that time frame I’ve lost many friends due to marriage, babies, etc.. So reading this totally made me see that I’m not alone. That everything you described is what I’ve been going through too! I too want to go in this adventure with you and see where it takes me. I need to get out of my comfort zone. I’ve finally realizing that love isn’t going to come to me as I’d hope for but I’m going to have to go after it.

  47. Liline
    November 16, 2016

    Hi Mandy. I’ve been following your for about 3 years now after reading your book. I feel like I’m living your life. It’s been 7 years since I last dated and this year I decided to finally put myself out there again. I started my year with no expectations or hope that I would ever meet someone. I finally joined Bumble and just like you, had my first kiss in 7 years, break up. I learned so much and had a lot of fun too. I was caught up in the traditional mindset that women should never initiate and to just “trust God”. I think that is fine, but we do and should have a little bit or control of it, rather than being passive about finding love. You are such an encouragement and I’m praying and hoping for that door to open up for you

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