I Told You I Was Strong & Independent. I Lied.

DependenceIt hit me yesterday that I talk regularly about how strong and independent I am as a single (and fabulous) woman…

…and yet, it’s all a big, gigantic LIE.

The message in church yesterday was about singleness and how our contentment can only be found in God, not in the safety of marriage or the independence of single life (Thank you, Pastor Trevor Atwood, for BRINGING IT). And as I sat there and listened and let the words wash over me, I realized that even though I have believed I was being honest with you every time I tweet or blog or talk about how “fiercely independent” I am…I’ve been lying. To you, and to myself.

What is she talking about? You might be asking yourselves. Is she completely off her rocker? Or a scam artist? A blatant liar? A hypocrite? No. The motivation was never to lie to you guys, my faithful readers. And the intention was pure – to encourage you all to live empowered single lives by inspiring you with stories of my own hard-earned independence and strength. But the truth is: Apart from God, I am NOTHING. Or, in the words of Jesus: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)

Don’t get me wrong – I’d love nothing more than to be Beyonce in all of her Independent Woman glory, hollering at you guys: “All the women who are independent, throw your hands up at me!” but the honest to God truth is that deep down, I am more Sasha Fear than Sasha Fierce. And even though:

“The shoes on my feet…I bought it
The clothes I’m wearing…I bought it
The house I live in (i.e. rent)…I bought it
The car I’m driving…I bought it…”

I DON’T DEPEND ON ME.

I don’t. When I do, it’s a big old mess. I know I’ve been very open with you all about my struggles with anxiety and although I mostly talk about it in the past tense (because I’ve learned to cope with it for the most part), I had a massive anxiety attack in Gatlinburg last week after an overzealous raccoon outside digging in our trash can sent us into a tailspin thinking we were being broken in on. (In my defense, it had to be the loudest raccoon ever to walk the earth and it was 11:00 at night and we were three women on top of a mountain far away from civilization with no way to defend ourselves.) Last week! I’m all Miss Positivity, Miss Face Your Fears, Miss Get Outside Your Comfort Zone…and yet, the very minute I took my eyes off God and started contemplating my own helplessness against a raccoon (who, again, I thought was a scary burglar)…I spiraled into full-blown panic mode for the first time in YEARS.

So, the moral of the story is this: I am not strong. I am not independent. I am weak. I am often afraid. I am always completely and utterly powerless. And I suspect some of you (or a lot of you) feel the same way as me.

But here’s the good news. (I know you’re waiting for the good news).

“God uses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise.” (1 Corinthians 1:27)

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

“Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

These verses, these truths, are why I felt the need to shout my weakness and dependence from the rooftops today. Not because I am boastful of my own strength or accomplishments or ability to overcome, but because my very weakness and fear and inadequacy and foolishness is what makes God and His hand in my life shine so bright. He is the reason, and the only reason, I can get up on stages in front of thousands of people and tell my story and do interviews on national television in front of millions of people and tell my story and open up my life and my heart and be vulnerable and REAL and brave about telling my story. It’s all Him. It’s none me. And there are still things that terrify me and shake me and cause me to back down…but the good news is, His mercies are new every single day and what scares me to death today might be what He gives me the grace to face down and overcome tomorrow.

And the same holds true for you.

I hope you know Him, this Jesus I speak of. I fail Him daily, and yet He still keeps giving me grace to be me. Weak, imperfect, completely dependent (on Him) me. And the truth is, as much as I have talked about “what strong women do” and how “independence is sexy” and blah blah blah…I am grateful for my weakness and my failings. They’re the reason I have a message at all. They are the reason God has been able to do something meaningful with my life. The weaker we are, the stronger He is.

“Ladies, it ain’t easy bein’ independent…” ~Beyonce

It’s not. And not only is it not easy, it’s impossible…if you want to live a life that matters.

 

72 Responses to “ I Told You I Was Strong & Independent. I Lied. ”

  1. Laura
    October 27, 2014

    This is exactly how I feel too xx

    • Banana
      October 28, 2014

      Feels good to be honest. I am sure more than are willing to admit can relate.

  2. Poppy
    October 27, 2014

    I knw wat u talking abt and I fel u*thank u fr you honesty

  3. Christi C
    October 27, 2014

    Best blog from you, ever! Thank you!

  4. Nina Katehos
    October 27, 2014

    thank you for the message and allowing me to give myself the permission to be weak and by venerable

  5. Toks
    October 27, 2014

    This is so powerful Mandy, I have been truly blessed!

  6. Michelle
    October 27, 2014

    Truth!! I feel the same way!

  7. tj
    October 27, 2014

    Perhaps it is better to refer to a single woman as stable and secure instead of independent.

    • October 28, 2014

      Agreed. I guess it’s being independent of any man-made constructs or another human in general.

  8. Hala
    October 27, 2014

    Mandy, you touched the nerve deep down my heart. You even made me proud of my weakness.. God bless you. You are one of a kind, a motivation for many people, You are a beautiful source of keeping our faith and head up high. regards

    • Mandy Hale
      October 27, 2014

      Thank you for your beautiful sentiments. Truly. xo

  9. Mosunmoluwa Sokoya
    October 27, 2014

    This post is a timely one, and a blessing. I hope someday soon, I’ll be able to share my story as well. Thanks a lot for this.

  10. Promise Ahaiwe
    October 27, 2014

    A great reminder that we nothing with Christ. Thank you

  11. Pearl
    October 27, 2014

    You are right on the button…and thank you for being so honest…we women get up and go to bed with these thoughts day in and day out..and the wisdom to know we are not alone helps us…keep up the great work you are helping a lot of us Independent and Strong woman!!

  12. Rachel
    October 27, 2014

    That blog was my answered prayer! I have been up and down struggling with this very issue, praying constantly for an answer…and I got it! The Lord works in mysterious ways!!

  13. October 27, 2014

    Okay, so I’m not the only one who would have a panic attack at what you were faced with, with that raccoon episode. lol. It sure isn’t easy to try and appear strong all the time and this week I do feel particularly weak…so I think maybe God is working in me some more this week than last week. 🙂
    Thanks…

    • Mandy Hale
      October 27, 2014

      Darn those raccoons! Haha! 😉

  14. Linda
    October 27, 2014

    Wonderful and so very true!

  15. Cheryl C.
    October 27, 2014

    Thank you do much for these words! Yes, we can be empowered, through the power of Jesus Christ. This is just what I needed to hear today.

  16. Penny
    October 27, 2014

    I’ve been reading and following you and I think you are great. I’ve had my heart broken by men whom I thought loved me. My most recent breakup was 1 month ago. He said he didn’t love me, and walked away without batting an eyelid. He completely disappeared and I last heard he was dating someone else. I am in my late 30s and have never felt more alone, more lonely and more scared and sad than I have ever been. And I try very hard to follow what you say. I work hard. I pay my bills. I meet my gfs. I take care of myself. But nothing beats the pain of loneliness. Of watching couples all around you and wondering if there will one day be someone who will love you enough to stay. I know you talk about God and that’s great for people who believe in God. But I am a free thinker. A neutral non-believer. How then do I cope? How would you advise women who are like me? I cannot believe in a higher being because it’s not who I am. But I want to believe things will get better and the pain will go away. How do I do that?

    • Mandy Hale
      October 27, 2014

      Dear Penny, I honestly can’t tell you how people without God in their lives cope. I would be lost without Him. The world can be such a scary, dark place that without His light and His guidance and His love…I don’t know what I would do or who I would be. Might I suggest something to you, in love? It seems that by you reading this blog and feeling moved by it, perhaps God is tugging on your heart. Would you do something for me? An experiment, if you will? Would you ask God that if He is indeed real, to make Himself known to you, in a powerful, tangible way that you will recognize? Because I know in my heart if you will just take a chance and say that prayer, He will show up in your life in a powerful way. And if I’m wrong and He doesn’t, what harm is done by trying? I hope you will give it a try and report back. In the meantime, I am sending you love and positive thoughts and saying prayers that God will meet you right where you’re at in a way that is completely, entirely unique to you and your sweet heart. With love, Mandy

    • Shan
      November 14, 2014

      Penny – don’t assume that couples you see everywhere are happy together or have something more than you. There are a lot of women who are struggling in their marriages that wish they could be you! The grass is always greener on the other side. Even in a good relationship there are a few good years at the beginning where everything is easy and great, then a lot of ups and downs and a whole lot of work and compromise after that. Often it takes care of some problems in your life but creates others. Right now I am happy to be single, I love that I can cook whatever I want and do whatever activities I think are fun without having to compromise. And if you can get to that point where you are happy on your own I think it makes you more attractive to men anyway because you don’t have that sense of desperation. If you start dating someone and see something that is a red flag you want to be able to get yourself out – you need to be willing to go back your good single life or else you will find yourself married to someone that is abusive or has an addiction and that is much worse than being single! Don’t settle. If 99% of men that you are meeting are selfish, or commitment-phobic, or only interested in one thing, then to me it is much better to wait for that 1% and if that takes years or never happens then gosh darn it I’m going to have fun by myself in the meantime and not have my happiness waiting on hold for something I can’t control. And do like Mandy said and give that God thing a try.

    • Susanna
      December 3, 2014

      Hi, Penny
      For what it’s worth, I am in a very similar position- 39, so very single, & the first man I’ve been interested in since a devastating heartbreak three years ago told me tonight that he’s happily daring someone. My aunt says “When you get to the end of all that you know, you will either find wings or something to stand on.” Look for the ways in which you are being lifted up or finding support. There are days when I have to get really focused & go to things like “Wow, the light is really pretty right now!”, but getting outside your head is useful. Another way to think about it is the old Mr. Rogers’ saying-“Look for the helpers”. The love you are looking for already exists in bits & pieces across your life. So remind yourself of who *has* chosen to love you & how rich your life is right now. It’s totally okay that it is hard right now. It gets better.

  17. Tonya
    October 27, 2014

    This is the 1st time I’ve read your blog but wow!! Now this is the real, in your face nitty gritty messages we need. I am great at giving encouragement and remembering scriptures to help others but when I’m facing it, I’m a quivering mass of jelly until The Lord pulls me up and out. Love this! Keep on keeping on!

    • Mandy Hale
      October 27, 2014

      Welcome to the blog! Hope it won’t be your last time visiting! 🙂

  18. Lorraine
    October 27, 2014

    Wow thank you so much, it’s always been scary for me to be so vulnerable.

  19. Laura
    October 27, 2014

    And therein lies the reason I rely on “I can do all things through CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS me.” I am nothing without Him. I completely depend on Him for everything, and am not ashamed! Don’t beat yourself up…..!

  20. Amanda Haynes
    October 27, 2014

    Amazing blog. All so very true. We are nothing without God. His grace is amazing. This is very encouraging. Thank you for sharing!

  21. Gina Marcela
    October 27, 2014

    I can’t get enough of you. I follow you on instagram and you have helped me be a better single woman. Our vulnerability makes us more beautiful. Thank you. God bless. – Gigi

  22. Jessica S.
    October 27, 2014

    Mandy,

    I feel like we should be on a first name basis, after all, I have spent a great amount of time with you (via your books and posts) in the past year. I think one of the most admirable parts of your strength and independence is the fact that you declare your weakness and dependence on God. I cannot thank you enough for getting me thru my break up and heart break and teaching me that I can be so much stronger than I ever thought. Currently, I am helping a friend thru the same thing. And often, I find myself quoting you. You are an absolute inspiration, especially when you humble yourself to the Lord. Your absolute honesty and real ness is such a comfort to me as a woman. Please continue to share, and I promise to continue sharing what I gather from you!
    Thank you times a million!!
    Love,
    Jessica S.

    • Mandy Hale
      October 27, 2014

      Well, now we are! Hi, Jessica! 🙂 xo

  23. Angie Stephenson
    October 27, 2014

    You’re awesome, Mandy! Just read your book and now hooked on your blog. Thank you for all that you share of yourself so candidly. Keep it up girl!
    Many blessings!!
    Angie Stephenson

  24. October 27, 2014

    Honesty, in all its forms, is beautiful and life-giving. Thank you, love, for doing what you do with your words. This is the best yet.

    • Mandy Hale
      October 27, 2014

      Thank you so much, Dana!

  25. Corina Ramirez
    October 27, 2014

    Now I’m 100% on board with all that you are about. It was newly restored Faith in him that got me through all the pain and to be free of it and know better be a fabulous Single woman, who can now show her soon to be 9 years old daughter that never let anyone mistreat you and God is first.

    Well said … May God continue to bless your success

  26. Meg
    October 27, 2014

    This was a wonderful blog, that I needed to hear – I’m sure many of us needed to hear. God’s timing is perfect – I have learned this recently. Normally I wouldn’t have looked at the blog at this exact time but I felt I needed a break from a day that has me reeling and there on Facebook I see your blog. I click and read your words that seem perfectly written as if for me on this perfectly awful day. God is amazing and through you and all His avenues He touches all our lives. Thank you Mandy for showing us your vulnerabilities and allowing us to know how not alone we all really are.

    • Mandy Hale
      October 27, 2014

      Hugs & prayers…xoxo

  27. Sandy
    October 27, 2014

    #RealestBlog…..This same message was preached at my church, I’m just happy that God is really talking to His peolpe….Thank you for honesty something that I can relate to!

  28. Melissa Anderson
    October 27, 2014

    What an amazing blog & a genuine blessing! It was as if you were putting into words what has been racing through my mind over the past weeks. I now call my strongest weakness my greatest blessing because it was what brought God into my heart. Thank you Mandy for sharing ❤️

  29. Grace
    October 27, 2014

    I thank God for your blog. It’s so true, we are not and can’t rely on ourselves, but God. In our weaknesses God shows His strength

  30. Tiffrbug
    October 27, 2014

    Amen sister! I feel the same way about my calling as a Hospice RN. People say, “I don’t know how you do it.” Simply put. It’s not me. It’s God working THROUGH me. Do you ever reflect back and wonder how you did something? God is so good and AMAZING!! Amen! Awesome post! 🙂

  31. October 27, 2014

    Thank you….I needed this right now

  32. Kenyatta
    October 27, 2014

    Now that’s ministry!!! Thank you so much for your transparency. May God Bless you and keep you…

  33. Chris
    October 27, 2014

    Dear Single Woman,

    My girlfriend introduced your page to me a few months before we officially became an item. In fact, she shared your post which was something like “Tell yourself you are intelligent, beautiful, funny, etc. over and over again until you believe it; because it is true.” I replied to her, ‘Maybe it will help if you hear it from someone else. You ARE all of these things things.’ She messaged me today with your recent post about not being independent from God. She said that you and I sound a lot alike. I am very religious and prayerful and have been encouraging my girlfriend to rely on God a little more in her life, particularly during times of struggle. I have been praying for her every day like this: ‘God in Heaven, bring her closer to you, so that I may be closer to her.’ Single Woman, thank you for allowing God to answer my prayers through you.

    God bless you and all your readers!

    • Mandy Hale
      October 27, 2014

      Chris,
      This beautiful comment and the spirit behind it honestly made me cry. What a precious couple! I love how you’ve placed God at the center of your relationship. I’m so honored to know that my message has made a difference in your girlfriend’s life. Please send her my love and know that I am praying for both of you as you grow together in Christ!
      Blessings,
      Mandy

  34. Donna R.
    October 27, 2014

    Thank you so much for this! I thank God every day for the things he does for me! There is always an answer to my prayers. Sometimes not the answer I’m expecting, but always something. The Lord gives me strength through Jesus Christ every day!

  35. Julia
    October 27, 2014

    Mandy, I read your book last summer and I was on an absolute high even though I had been single for 6 yrs. I didn’t care I was the most content I had ever been in my life. I even decided to go back to school which wasn’t appealing at one point since I’m in my early thirties, but between your book and other inspirational things I felt unstoppable. I even met a guy! One that actually shared a mutual connection back. Now I’m 9 months into a relationship with him and I think he’s absolutely unlike any other guy I’ve ever met and he treats me very we’ll like I’ve never gotten to be treated like before, but I’m always feeling stressed and have anxiety. I’m not sure if the cause is that he is friends with more girls than guys and I’m not used to that and I worry that I won’t be good enough for him and he’ll find someone else, even though he has made it clear I’m the best thing that has happened to him. I’m not sure why I’m doubting. I’ve been working so hard on myself keeping a daily gratitude journal, saying mirrors affirmations, listening to inspirational stuff during the work day, exercising, yoga, meditation, and I feel like I’m very unhappy in life and idk if it’s because of the relationship or my very boring job that I started just before I met him thats taking a toll on me. I just want my worry free self back and idk what to do anymore. How do I determine if my relationship is causing my unhappiness and feeling sick more frequently? I feel like if I just ended this relationship I would have huge regrets for the rest of my life. If anyone has any advice I could use a boost. I pray to god almost daily to guide me back to finding my happiness and security in myself and my relationship.

  36. Stephanie
    October 27, 2014

    hi, I’m recently new to your blog and I’m a follower of you on Twitter. I just wanted to say that I appreciate your honesty and your courage to post your struggles online and just let everything out. You are truly a strong woman I admire you so much for that. Also, you’re hilarious.

  37. October 27, 2014

    So true this is something that I had to learn as well. I boasted on being overly independent but I come to find that in my weakness and I get my strength from being independent through God, therefore it is not by my own effort that I find strength but through God’s effort. Which does not make me independent at all, but dependent on God.

  38. Salma
    October 28, 2014

    Hi Mandy, thank-you for this blog, the honesty and vulnerability was touching, I just wanted to give you a hug. I am happy for you, to have found comfort with God in your life, to truly be grateful and humble about our own existence, our own meanings to life. I am agnostic myself, I grew up with strong religious beliefs, however, through feelings of segregation from one person to the next because of religious differences, I searched for something inside me. I read your blogs after a difficult period in my life a year and a half ago, it gave me hope. I don’t confess to having it together, I am working on it and I expect to continuously be working on it. I don’t really leave comments, but Mandy, I wanted to tell you that I think you have always been honest and you’re being honest now. What keeps me going, without God is what is right in front of me, none of us are perfect, but the commonality of a smile meaning the same thing in all parts of the world- that has to mean something. You might feel like a liar because of the raccoon, but your avid readers, well in my case anyway, don’t read your blog because you have it “together ” but because you draw us back to how we’re all the same in our strength and vulnerabilities. I may not be coming to you from God’s love, but I AM from a love that’s in my heart, from a place of connectiveness that often is the reason I read your words. Be who you are, be grateful and positive.. just remember, your intentions of togetherness are what resonates, thank you x x x

  39. Mpho Tsasane
    October 28, 2014

    wow touchy and inspiring Mandy.

  40. Marianne
    October 28, 2014

    Dear Mandy,
    Thank you for being YOU. You are an inspiration to me. I have been following you for a while, read all of ur books, subscribe to your blog, and share your message with ANY of my friends who NEED to hear it. Even though I am in a relationship it’s not the one for me it was a relationship of loneliness after having been single since shortly after my son was born 8 years ago. I’m just trying to grow the balls to end it but don’t want to hurt him bcuz he is head over heels for me. Please don’t ever stop sharing your message! I couldn’t go without my daily dose of Mandy. I even bought your book Never Been to Vegas as an early Christmas present for my best friend (who’s life experiences are very similar to yours even her own Mr E) because I felt she needed to hear you and gain some guidance in her life. Thanks for this post it is something I NEEDED to hear… I’ve strayed away from God the past few years and have felt lost… making a mess of my life trying to be independent on my own… again THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU!

  41. October 28, 2014

    been following your blog since summer… you have reawakened my writing spirit. I feel you mandy… because once I was in your shoes… hope we would get to live our purposes here in this life.

  42. Miss J
    October 28, 2014

    Mandy, firstly I would like to say that I am currently halfway through ‘I’ve Never Been to Vegas…But my Luggage Has’ and I just want to say God bless you and praise you from the bottom of my heart. I love Jesus fiercely with all my heart but currently in a relationship which is not grounded in God. The man I am dating is agnostic and I am praying my hardest with your inspiration from your novel and words of God’s wisdom on your facebook and blog to see if it is God’s will to be with a man who may never come to know or love God. I too have felt the importance to be independent outweighed so much before, but the concept of eternity has always been the point of my hardened heart softening, and as my father passed away last year eternity has meant more to me than ever before. I know that you and I, and all single women out there with careers have been blessed greatly, however all our blessings be is small or large have all been from Him. Jesus grace is so great that I feel nothing matters in this world to me. Yes at times I forget this, and live as part of the world, but as followers of Christ we have been born into the world and then taken out of it again so to speak. We are not part of this world, just passing through, almost like lights to help others see as well. Anyway Mandy, hopefully not getting too much off track but thank you again – I keep you in my prayers now everyday to keep inspiring us through God. I am really loving all your facebook inspirational quotes too – please keep on posting them up! Love and blessings from J xx

  43. Dee
    October 28, 2014

    Hi Mandy, I stumbled upon your twitter after searching up for women empowerment. I have been going through a rough patch due to many reasons primarily cause of my negative thoughts. In efforts to become positive again and lift myself back up, I have resorted to social media and blogs for added aid and inspiration.
    We don’t share the same faith and that doesn’t really matter cause my religion also teaches me to rely and believe in my God. Your post is an inspiration though I refer to the similar verses in relation to those quoted by you.
    Thank you!

  44. Mattie
    October 28, 2014

    well ,Mandy girl ,you are just awesome as usual. speak the truth sister, Ive heard it sets you FREE ;)lol. yes ,we can “claim” to be as independant as Beyonce speaks of ,but shes married after all !!!!! so she speaks about what ppl write for her to [email protected] any rate .I love your blog ,I love every wonderful thoughtful ,kind,heart felt moment that you go thru .cause you are truly ministring to women everywhere. you do keep it real ,no one could begrudge you that ( or shoudent)we ALL are human and what you say is true .we are supposed to encourage others to be strong and move forward ,in doing so it encourages us ,it doesnt make us perfect,you are just sharing your life story and its a great one for sure .G-d gave me this scripture this morning for myself ,because I go thru the same thing as well. I try really hard to be an independant woman and be strong ,because I have to ,truth is a am a puddling mess .i would love nothing more than a strong G-dly wonderful man to just drop down from Heaven and save the day ,but until (if) that happens ,we pick our weary little butts up off the ground and say I am MORE than a conquoror thru christ that loves me and died for me ,I CAN do all things thru him that strenthens me ,one more day .the scripture was 2nd Timothy 1:7 FOR I HAVE NOT GIVEN YOU THE SPIRIT OF FEAR ,BUT OF POWER,LOVE AND A SOUND MIND .that gets me thru .TODAY .G-d bless you Mandy .NEVER appologize for being human.

  45. Mattie
    October 28, 2014

    oh ,and a HUGE p.s the advise you gave to Penny was the most loving awesome way to introduce her to a loving G-d that loves her so much and wants to and will make himself real to her, that I have ever heard anyone express before .wow!!!!! GREAT job girl,great job. that was from a loving Father and his holy spirit.

    I pray for you Penny that you do give him a chance to make himself real to you ,he wants to ,he longs to,we just need to ask. his such a wonderful gentlman that he wont take your will from you ,thats why we have to ask ,he wants you to love him ,because ,you want to ,not because you are made to. he loves you more than you will EVER know .like Mandy said .just give it a try ,what do you have to lose ? NOTHING. but you have EVERTHING to gain. I dare you,go ahead girl ,step into the water ,its fine ;)xoxo

  46. October 28, 2014

    I can so relate to this! Sometimes I’m like “I got this” in all my swagginess, but at the end of the day, it’s always a “help me, God. embrace me. i’m so desperate for you.” Oh, the single life is crazy beautiful.

    Thanks for your honesty.

  47. Janet Louise
    October 28, 2014

    I just subscribed. I thought this site was fluff with fun thoughts on being fabulously single. Thank you for being a REAL single woman. Amen.

    • Mandy Hale
      October 28, 2014

      Every once in awhile, I can do fluff. But mostly…just real, hard, gritty STUFF. 🙂

  48. Stace
    October 28, 2014

    Thank you so much, for this post…Wow! What a blessing you are. I wish I could constantly just be mindful of relying TOTALLY on Him. I get into my own I can do it space so often and then make a mess of it and throw myself back into His arms weeping AGAIN! But how awesome that He is just ALWAYS faithful. Thanks for your realness, vulnerability and authenticity. You truly are an INCREDIDIBLE BLESSING! It just helps to know that I can relate and am not alone in my single struggle where I wanna take control but really just need to trust God….ok Im rambling. Bless you! Hugsxxxx

  49. esther jedidjah
    October 28, 2014

    Very true!I see how weak and frail I am!but it amazes me how much He loves and cares for me,I ve actually found out that God shows up so mightly in our weakeness,so we can still remember that no matter how strong we might be,its okay if we can’t figure it out all by ourself!I wonder why He loves and delights in me so much!

  50. Helen
    October 28, 2014

    Now that is exactly how I really feel ,I felt I was reading my own words 🙂

  51. Roseanne
    October 28, 2014

    I have to admit that this is the BEST blog EVER!!! I feel like this ALL the time. I have these moments of power where I am all gong-ho about being single and waiting for the right guy and then… something happens. This time I got severely sick. I haven’t been this sick in years. Here I was sick and all alone. My mom, who always means well, was sad because she couldn’t help me and didn’t think twice about mentioning that I was alone and she was worried about me. It made me sad and I cried a lot. Probably more than I had in a while.
    I totally understand putting on a brave face and trying to take on the world by storm… and then, at the end of the day, you’re sitting on the couch crying because you want to take on the world with a partner.
    You are the bravest person I have met in a long time. I know you know this, but you are human and sharing your feelings with all of us, makes you an extra special woman with a heart for giving.
    May God continue to bless you. As he does, he blesses each and every one of us.

    Thank you for all you do and all you are!

  52. October 30, 2014

    Hi Mandy. Thanks for being so honest. I am pretty new here on your blog , and although I’ve seen some of your book and Facebook posts, I’ve not read your blogs before. I can relate to what you said, and have had a similar journey. Things really started changing in my life, specially my love life when I realised that a romantic relationship alone would not give me all the love I was yearning for, and also when I made a decision to embrace and accept my vulnerability. The same as you, having a close and connected relationship with God (although I am not part of any formal religion) fulfilled me in a way that any of my relationships have done and do. It brought into my life a strength and joy that I cannot get from anything else… and this helped me to realise that, although I do not need a partner (as the independent woman I am), I choose to be with a partner, which is completely different. I admire your honest and your courage for opening up your heart. 🙂 Cristina

  53. Pebetse Rankwe
    November 4, 2014

    ♥Hey
    I clicked on the independence link hoping to be inspired and hoping to find courage to be independent. Thank you for showing me that dependence on God is not a weakness but evidence of God’s grace in our lives.
    -Pebetse

  54. Zeshly
    November 9, 2014

    Thank u for being honest with us, you are only a human. You inspire us, I’m in my middle 20s and I survived a break up because of your inspiring post, I dusted my self off, wiped my tears and walked away with my head held up high. My point is, you are an inspiration. Love u.

  55. […] i told you i was strong & independent.  i lied.  by the single woman […]

  56. mari
    November 27, 2014

    Dear Mandy,
    Thank you very much to all your post like this.it helps me a lot to realize what’s my worth being a single woman.I just get my strenght to the Lord even to often I’m alone facing all problems that I encounter.Family problems,health,lovelife.financial.
    But reading your blogs,helps me a lot.And I know on the end ,all my sacrifice will be worth in the end.God bless you.Thank you for reaching us through your page. Hoping to get some copy of your books soon.Mari

  57. December 27, 2014

    *Tears…some happy, some bittersweet. This has been some week for me. I’ve “celebrated” Christmas with my my ex, my daughter, his girlfriend and his family (trying so hard to appear happy for my daughter’s sake) , I’ve broken up with my version of Mr. E (Mr. G), and was Maid of Honor @ a good friend’s wedding so I’ve had some tough spots to contend with these last few days (of course I’m truly happy for my friend but everything else not so much). I really needed this Mandy…trying to be strong all the time is hard. Thanks for your transparency. I’m so glad that God holds us (all) in his VERY capable hands.

  58. Zanele
    October 12, 2015

    Your words are as if spoken from my own mouth. Keep living your purpose backed by Grace!!!!

  59. Janet nafula
    November 18, 2015

    Hi Mandy love your blog it’s really encouraging… God bless…

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