Pride. Aslan. And Barry Manilow. (But Mostly Pride.)

AslanPride. One of the ickiest words I know. I hate it. It makes me feel small, and petty, and just…gross. I started thinking about this the other day because I felt myself getting all puffed up about something silly. It’s easy as a (semi) public figure to sometimes allow your ego to get the best of you. Even though I KNOW that nothing I’ve accomplished is because of my own smarts or strength or abilities, I still at times allow myself to get caught up in my own hype. Stupid, ridiculous hype. Like “Oh, I have a verified Twitter account so I must be super cool.” Really, Mandy? A blue checkmark next to your name is the establisher of your worth? (Insert unimpressed emoji face here.)

So…anyway. Back to the other day when I got puffed up about something. It was one of those moments when I KNEW how silly I was being and I was completely irritated with myself. I was also irritated with someone else for not “acknowledging me” the way I thought they should. I even thought to myself for a brief moment: “Don’t they know who I am?!”

In the words of Barry Manilow: “Oh, Mandy.” (If you don’t know the song, I can’t be your friend.)

It was in that moment that my fallible, fleshly, painfully human and unjustifiably prideful self asked that question in my mind that I felt God sort of rise up like a lion (I was picturing Aslan) and roar:

“Don’t you know who I am?”

Oh, yes. You. The Alpha and the Omega. The Beginning and the End. The One who was and is and is to come. YOU. Beautiful, perfect…You.

The Man of sorrows…the One acquainted with grief. The Perfect One who wasn’t even a hero in His own hometown. The One whose presence was snubbed and feet remained unwashed at the Pharisee’s house because they opened the door to their house to Him but not the door to their hearts. The Lamb who was led to slaughter, and spat upon by the very people He was dying for. The One who, the night before He died, took off His robes like a peasant and washed the grimy, unworthy feet of the ones who would deny Him and abandon Him and betray Him.

I have the audacity to ask in all my smallness: Don’t you know who I am?

And He responds in all his bigness: I AM the Great “I Am.”

He is Everything. I am nothing.

To go back to the Barry Manilow song I referenced above (and who knew Barry Manilow could preach the gospel?!)

“You came and You gave without taking…but I sent You away…”

He gives. We take. He loves. We fail to. He humbles Himself. We puff ourselves up. He shows grace. We show unforgiveness.

Don’t we KNOW who He is? Apparently I don’t. At least not well enough.

That’s the root of pride, you know. The need to be recognized. The need for worthiness and acceptance and love.

And yet, all of those things we’re grasping so desperately for…we already possess. In Him.

THAT’S who He is.

Lord, help me to better remember this in 2015.

20 Responses to “ Pride. Aslan. And Barry Manilow. (But Mostly Pride.) ”

  1. Jazmine
    January 8, 2015

    Pride is something I struggle with a lot, mainly because I have an even bigger fear that nobody will remember me or they remember me for the wrong reason. For as long as I remember, I’ve had this deep desire for this grand stamp of approval from the world, for them to know my presence soon as I enter a room and to want whatever I’ve got. Because that’s how I am with so many others. I could do the same exact thing as somebody else, yet they’ll get recognized and praised while I dont. And it destroys the very little confidence I occasionally have. My comment will probably get buried among the others but at least my feelings are out there.

    • January 8, 2015

      Jazmine,
      Your comment hasn’t been buried. It stands out boldly as a sign of wanting something more. We all ache for recognition and a desire to be loved, but what we need to recognize (and remind ourselves daily) is that no recognition or love will ever satisfy that God-shaped hole inside of each of us. Only His love can! Run a recklessly abandoned into His arms and those prideful feelings will be wiped away!

    • January 13, 2015

      Jazmine, I don’t know you or your story. But I want you to know that your comment, your feelings, are not buried. And even if no one here had read them, you are known by a God that is capable of handling any feelings that you have. You’re not the only one who wants to be remembered or who struggles with pride. I don’t have any answers or advice; would it help even if I did? But I do just want you to know that the way that you feel isn’t unusual or unnecessary. You are unforgettable, girl. Blessings!

    • Mandy Hale
      January 13, 2015

      I see all comments and read all comments. No comments get buried or go unnoticed. Unfortunately, I am just me and a team of one and can’t respond to every single one of them, but I do see and read all and pray over lots of them and am blessed by all of them. xoxo,Mandy

  2. January 8, 2015

    Great pride post!
    I would offer to kiss you and stop you from shaking, but that would just be weird, at least we can be friends. 🙂

    • Mandy Hale
      January 13, 2015

      HA!!! 🙂

  3. Mattie
    January 8, 2015

    well ,in the words of Romans 3:23 we ALL have fallen short of his glory.and Proverbs 16:18 pride goes before a FALL .dont think higher of yourself than you ought. I guess we all have been there ,done that one .feeling like we dont get our dues for all of our greatness .lol in the infamous words of JM : what about me ,what about me ???? LOL .its all about HE

  4. Abby
    January 8, 2015

    This is something I REALLY struggle with and I know there have been moments when God reminds me it is not about me, but Him. Thank for your blog post!

  5. tiffrbug
    January 9, 2015

    Lovely post. I have found lately that every time I have a prideful moment, it is followed by something to knock me off of my high horse. I am constantly reminded to give credit where credit is due. Thank you for this timely post. Happy New Year!! 🙂

  6. Ashley
    January 9, 2015

    I so relate to the ugliness of pride. I’ve had my struggles with pride because of hurts but pride cant come between my relationship with God. Thank you for your transparency.

  7. Ashley
    January 9, 2015

    I so relate to the ugliness of pride. I’ve had my struggles with pride because of hurts but pride cant come between my relationship with God. Thank you for your transparency.

  8. January 10, 2015

    Great reminder of how easy it is for us to take credit for our giftedness. I love your Blog and sweet spirit. Such great insight for us single women looking to do single right.
    Cheers and Blessings!

  9. Wondering
    January 11, 2015

    We can be friends (“Daybreak”…”Copacabana”…go Barry). But “Oh Mandy” – I LOVE how you presented this. It even cut through my current pride revolving around questioning God’s Goodness in the midst of all of my aches and desires for family, home, NON-singlehood. He IS the great I AM, and “beautiful” definitely describes Him…”Beautiful”…Thanks for this desperately-needed reminder today. May it last…

  10. phindile
    January 13, 2015

    Wow! How The Almighty works! I had an incident today at the grocery store that I’m not proud of. All because I felt the cashier didn’t treat me with respect. I threw a fit. Won’t happen again because I know now it had nothing to do with me. I choose peace.

  11. Mushroom
    January 27, 2015

    Something we all struggle with. Great read Mandy!

  12. Suzanne
    January 29, 2015

    Beautiful… And very eye opening… I can see where a lot of the “upset” in my life is caused by pride… Thank you for opening my eyes to that!

  13. Miss J
    February 5, 2015

    Mandy and fellow Gals, at the moment I am unemployed, 31 and living at home with my mum. I have been out of work for 9 weeks from a well paying full time job and get this way always it seems now. I have friends who are struggling with their own issues and yet my pride can get the better of me, and I start getting self concious and upset that I am not what I once was and cannot show that I need help, that I am hitting rock bottom.

    Thank you for sharing this truth with us, its something I very much needed to read. Amen xx

  14. jen
    February 18, 2015

    Mandy,

    thank you for sharing! sometimes it’s nice to get a reminder once in awhile.

  15. March 13, 2015

    I am crying right now. Listen to “Arrested by Grace by Worshipmob”

  16. Rianna-Hermione
    April 3, 2015

    lol, I didn’t know who sang it, but haha, I’m 25, and I totally know that song. I’ve known it since I was at least 12 or so, from my parents of course. I pretty much sing that song in my head when I hear the name. 🙂

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