Love At First Swipe: Finding Love in 2016
We’ve been talking all about goals and Vision Boards in my 31-Day Challenge, and one of my BIGGEST goals this year is to be more open to finding love. One way I’m planning to do this is by…dum da da dum…trying online dating for the first time. Since I’m more clueless than Cher Horowitz when it comes to online dating, I turned to my friend and resident dating expert (and co-host of the new hit show “Love At First Swipe”) Devyn Simone to help break down the basics of swiping and typing your way to true love.
What am I doing wrong? What could I be doing differently? God, do you want me to be single forever? These are just some of the questions I found myself asking throughout my ten-plus years of online dating. I’ll admit the first few years were more about fun, followed by a few years of “investigative research.” But when I finally found myself ready to commit to a long-term relationship I just couldn’t understand why in a sea of options and a lot of great first dates I still hadn’t met Mr.Right. That was a couple of years ago. Now I’m happily engaged to a wonderful man who I met on a dating app. I made it through the murky waters of online dating and have reached my goal of finding true love. Although I appreciate my online dating journey, I’ll be honest with you: there were times that it was very disappointing. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and discouraged by the many apps, the swiping, and what seems to be a lack of genuine connection. But having been through all of that and more I’m here to tell you what I wish someone would have told me: you can find love online. You CAN meet the man of your dreams. You can have the relationship you want from a dating app but you MUST have a strategy. Using information from academic studies on dating, my own personal experiences, and stories shared with me by clients and women on my tv show I’ve developed a game plan for your love life that will help you get the most out of your dating profile. Here are the first 3 steps:
Step 1. Identify your dream guy.
This step is crucial to online dating because you can’t move forward in your love life if you don’t have a clear idea of where you want to go. What does your dream guy look like? What is his occupation? What are his hobbies? Does he have kids? The more detailed you are, the better. Now please understand that no guy is going to have 100% of the things you write in this description. If you write that your dream guy is named Tom and you happen to meet a great guy names James don’t rule him out. This description is just part of the foundation for step 3.
Step 2. Identify your own best qualities.
What do you like most about yourself? What about you makes you a good partner? Do you have a hidden talent? Do you have a creative side? Think about the qualities you can bring to a relationship. Sometimes we get so caught up in finding the perfect partner to give us what we want, we forget that we have to bring something to the table, too! Write down a list of the things you like about yourself. If you get stuck you can ask close friends and family to help. While you probably won’t use everything you write on the list for your profile, go ahead and keep the list anyway. It’ll be good to have on hand in the event that one day you forget just how awesome you are and you need a little reminder.
Step 3. Put Steps 1 & 2 together.
Anyone in marketing, sales, or media will tell you that the first step to being successful is knowing your audience and then marketing your product with them in mind. Translation: create a profile that highlights your best qualities (aka product) with your audience (aka dream guy) in mind. The hardest lesson for people to learn when it comes to dating apps is that you can’t be everything to everyone. I know there are a million guys online and they’re not all going to like you. That’s okay. That’s great actually, because dating a million people would be exhausting! The athlete will have different interests than a stockbroker who will have different interests than an artist. All of those are great options but creating a profile to capture the attention of all three of those personality types would send mixed messages and would end up ultimately leaving you with fewer options. Pick three qualities about yourself that you think your dream guy would appreciate and create your profile around that.
A recent study found that 35% new relationships started online. That number is growing everyday. That means you’re not alone in your journey. You certainly can have the relationship that you want, when you’re ready. I am so grateful for the online dating app that led me to the love of my life but I’m even more thankful for the wisdom to ask God for guidance so that I could finally stop dating in circles (aka dating morons!) Asking for clarity helped me create my strategy. Now I’m sharing my strategy and tips with you. Finding love online is like anything else you achieve in life: it takes a bit of effort and clear direction. Now you no longer have to navigate it alone! #IGotYourBack
Watch Devyn Simone and her co-host Clinton Kelly makeover the style and dating profiles of single women on their new show Love At First Swipe every Friday night at 10:30ET/9:30CT on TLC.
For more helpful dating tips visit DevynSimone.com, or follow Devyn on Twitter/Instagram/Facebook: @DevynSimon.
Okay, Mandy here again…while we’re on the topic of online dating, I’m excited to share an AWESOME opportunity with you from my friends at Christian Mingle. They’re looking for the next “cover girl” or “face” of the brand and it could be YOU! Simply click HERE to enter! GOOD LUCK! #MeetMeOnMingle